You have taken the best I had to offer. And ignored it. And – somehow – it has become my own fault – my own lack – that it was ignored. This has broken me. I have completely lost faith in education. I have lost faith in the system that delivers it. I have lost confidence in my skills as a teacher. I remain in doubt of the values I live in life.
I have taught for twenty five years and worked hard to become nothing more than a virus: everything I give or say or produce or practise is an irritant in the system. All I can anticipate of the future is that the system will find more and more ways to find me unprofessional and incompetent. And this will destroy me.
A year ago I thought I still had much to give. I have finally realised now that I have nothing. You have no use for me. You make no use of me. I have done nothing wrong but I am treated as an irrelevance. Just let the torture stop and release me. Let me retire early from the living failure my career has become.