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          dry rot

          still

     resentment sets in
          I go to work anyway
     but the resentment is always there
          I create resources I mark books
          I teach lessons
     but the resentment is always there
          I do my fucking duty
          I even do an extra parent’s evening
     but the resentment is always there
          some manager asks how I am
          I tell them I survive
                   (but I don’t tell them
                    I don’t thrive –
                    not quick enough)
     but the resentment is always there

     I offered my thought
                    my creation
                    my care
     because I thought about growth
                   I created a way
                   I wanted to give

          AND YOU PAUSED
     IN YOUR BUSI-NESS AND PRESSURE
     JUST LONG ENOUGH TO GET ON
          WITH YOUR BUSINESS AND PRESSURE
     TO COMPENSATE THE ANXIETY OF
          MAKING TOUGH DECISIONS FOR THE SAKE OF PROGRESS
          TO OVERLOOK

          what I continue to think
          what is still on the table
                   unopened
          but which has lost the will
                   to project anymore

     you

     make

     me

     sick

     you made me sick
          you created a sick teacher
     even while I attend each day
          for the sake of absence management
     even while I create and mark
          for the sake of growth
     even while I sit through a meeting
          which dribbles on about good-to-outstanding
     still the resentment is always there
     sticky invisible and malignant

 

 

 

————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–

management wormhole: by default
managerialism & performance management & resource & teaching wormhole: Confession
speech wormhole: south horizon