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                                but there is much more input
                                              and it is so much easier to get wafted away
                on a busy day

                                and yet there is no more to focus on
                                              because it is all busy
well yes there is more
                                but still there is only so much that I can notice
                it is only that which comes through to me
                                              that I can be aware of
                                I can’t be aware of what I am not aware of
                as if there were something hidden within experience
                                                              – the key to it all!
                                              if only I were aware of it –
                                on a busy day I am just
                                              more easily smothered
                losing the slight recollect I may have gathered on an easy day
                                                                                 so easily lost

                because I have weak discipline
in my practice
                                I spend my time noticing the distractions
                rather than just sitting and breathing
                                              I do not hold the posture or return to the breath
                                I still slouch
                                              and either wimp-out and sit in a chair
                or indulge in despair and just a little anger
                                on the cushion
                                and yet I have learnt not to try to focus like a scientist
                                                              still so much work to do

                                posture back
                                failed upright
                                gently school
                                been lost for
                                six minutes
                                all lost
                                start again
                                back breathing
                                gently slow
                                down go back
                                and care?
                                should I?
                                posture easier
                                to sergeant-
                                major my back
                                … make
                                friends with
                                the anxiety
                                of not getting
                                anything done
                                make friends
                                with the
                                anxiety while
                                as I do




acceptance & awareness & sitting wormholes: poessay V: // writing / as practice while / writing
living wormhole: mourning
practice wormhole: journal // then // sit
zazen wormhole: walking