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                                              from lost
                                              to open

                                I am
                                by default
askance from view
                                              aside from consideration
                                haunted by
                                damp doubt
which seeps through the very walls like mould

                                sad as the
                                brilliant idea
which made you stand up to act
                                              and then vanished without trace never to be retrieved
                                no matter
                                how long
                                I wait
                                and hope

                                lost as the
                                eight year old
wandering the stairwells and landings looking for Daddy
                                              even though he had gone and would not be coming back

                                I am the call
                                but no response
I am the …
                                              … sorry Mark were you saying something

and one day I will learn my lesson
                                and well
I will dwell in the fault as it is
                                                and not build myself out of it
                                to be

                                and then
                                you will see
and then you will be plagued
                                              by a strange nostalgia for something you never knew
                                but were sure
                                was always





acceptance wormhole: no more
identity wormhole: patronage
letting go wormhole: the path / no echo
talking to myself wormhole: so lonely