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I’ve always wanted to be part of an open, creative, groovy scene.   No I haven’t, I’ve always cynicised myself apart from whichever scene I was in, groovy or not.   Then I’ve always wanted to be the reference point, the fulcrum, the font, the stability.   No I haven’t, I’m immobilised and lost in rage as soon as I am even implicitly questioned.   Then I just want to be left alone.   No you don’t, you want to be heeded and recognised.   Then I don’t know what I want but I know that I’m not getting it.   Actually you are getting it, it’s just that you don’t know you’re getting it because you think you need something else.

I can see why this eight year old gets no satisfaction.





being wormhole: alighting
identity wormhole: teaching
living wormhole: realisation
talking to myself wormhole: from lost / to open