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                      through much undergrowth to allow that
                                   what I have to let go of
                      is what I want to have
                      and then I will have all that I want
                      and be entertained by it too


                      but the conceit – actually the fear –
                      creeps in like twilight
                      and stays for days and weeks because
                      it is hardly noticed and
                      slightly darkens everything


                      I need to find ways and tricks
                      to touch back with Real

                      No.   I don’t.   That is another
                      creeping failure that will haunt me for months
                      I need to live in the experience of sitting
                      when I sit so that I can do anything
                      as I anything
                      I do not need another project
                      to spend my days being anxious over
                      I need the balmy gentleness
                      of being the lesson
                      I am always looking for to
                      vindicate and inspire me

                      the same with writing.   Look at this.
                      Flowing.   Because I have sat in myself
                      pen poised when I am writing
                      not wanting the next chapter
                      of the over-reaching project that
                      I have set myself

                                   just write being
                                   myself just sit
                                   being myself
                                   just be myself
                                   with wide-open

                                   and ignorance





acceptance wormhole: meditation session
being & letting go & zazen wormhole: thirst? / hunger?
sitting wormhole: radiator
talking to myself wormhole: the freedom to … // … enjoy
writing wormhole: renounce