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                                anxious about returning
                                to air that I cannot inhale

                                nervous about exhaling any
                                more where it is still fetid

                                fearful that I’ll be rendered
                                a ghost again a nightmare

                                in which I won’t be able to
                                remember my own breath

 

 

 

… some of you may be aware that I have been off work for the past four months, working my way defeated and flick-eyed through what is turning out to be my fourth breakdown from the school I work in; through all sorts of pulling myself up by my own collars and all sorts of looking deep into my own stare in the mirror, I am moving towards returning, still empty of confidence but with a much deeper understanding of what I am not; let’s see if the leviathan has changed or moved, shall we …?

————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–

being & identity wormhole: anatta
breakdown wormhole: dream 100213
breathing wormhole: how ironic
ghosts wormhole: truly invisible
managerialism wormhole: “I / am Spartacus”
school wormhole: ‘stomping home from school …’
teaching wormhole: returning home

 

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