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                                night after night
                          morning after morning
                              dream after dream
                                  day after day
the radiation of unnotice and pointlessness continues its inexorable half-life
                           spurring my activity
                           tipping me earnestly
                                          into work which might vindicate me
                                                      which might make me worthy
            but it never does
                           just gets my hopes up
                                          ready for another spill


                           not in writing exponentially
                                          more than I used to
                           not in publishing so much
                                          that I will be recognised
                           not in producing sublime resources
                                          so that I will be valued
                           not in the hundred other things I build
                                          mutated to be better
                           but in sitting with not doing any of this
                           and sitting with the un-hope
                                          and un-adrenalin of maybe
                           and sitting with the disappointment
                                          and sitting with the hopelessness
                           and sitting with the ‘can’t win’
                                          and sitting with the ‘why do I bother?’

                                          I’ll probably achieve them all …





being & writing wormhole: t w e n t y f i r s t c e n t u r y l i f e
doing wormhole: rhetorical inevitability inexorable in both immanent dissipation & implicit effulgence
dream & identity wormhole: update
letting go & sitting wormhole: let
morning wormhole: bad sneakers
night wormhole: 3:30 am
pointlessness & talking to myself wormhole: only
publishing wormhole: fly
recognition wormhole: The Future of Teaching: performance or capability (‘oh, not ‘teaching’ then?’)
time wormhole: still waving!