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                                                                          that’s me
                                           in the corner that’s me in the spot light
                                                    losing my religion*

                                   I lost my faith in 2005
                                   against a grey-red wall with
                                   only clutter and no hope
                                   that teaching was of
                                   any contact on a day
                                   in April after waiting
                                   four long years for
                                   response to my call
                                   and hearing only
            slogans and standards while you
                                                   you were all busy and pressed
                                   being consistent


*yes, yes, of course; lines from ‘Losing My Religion‘ by R.E.M – I do not claim that I wrote these words (and I certainly don’t make any money through publishing them on my blog – *ironic emoticon*), just that I nicked them because they fitted so well as the title to the experience I had died through and the piece I had written ‘to see if I still feel’ (I didn’t write those last words either, if you can tell me who did I will award you one of the left over No Prizes that I never won during the Mighty Marvel Age) but that the words pervade the fabric of my dysfunctional relationship with teaching like the smell of cooked cabbage is mine, wholly mine, I tellya




career & managerialism & professional development wormhole: … just saying is all I
grey wormhole: I glimpse above the rooftops
identity wormhole: no quota too empty / no fate to fulfil
recognition wormhole: lost self
red wormhole: still waving!
teaching wormhole: I don’t think I could do it anymore
waiting wormhole: waiting