fifty-eight // and silent prayers

Tags

1979, 2017, 6*, age, birthday, blue, Castleton, clouds, cross-section, direction, gold, green, hair, heartbeat, hills, identity, knees, landscape, lifetimes, metal, neck, prayer, ripple, road, shirt, silence, silver, step, sun, time, travelling, walking, wandering

                                fifty-eight times now

                wandering dopey through another landscape

                                (walking) up into the hills
                                to find the golden sun –
                                sheet-metal through
                                flanks of cloud

                                the snaking A-road
                                sunk and cascaded
                                in 1979, petrified cross-
                                sections there to study

                                never travelling far
                                but up in giant gulp-steps
                                heart beats in the back
                                of the neck and down

                                through the knees
                                with the rising pass

                I stand now at fifty eight with clipped and

                                silvering hair with
                                check and green-blue
                                shirt and silent prayers
                                rippling to all directions

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

birthday wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – … as the new town marches in
blue wormhole: I
Cadtleton wormhole: walk from Castleton to Hope
clouds & hills wormhole: mauve
gold wormhole: so / do I keep on writing now I’ve retired, or … / Rumplestiltskin
green & walking wormhole: abandoned sound mirrors
hair & sun wormhole: ash leaves
identity wormhole: both modern and en-slaved / to life
lifetimes wormhole: oh, alright then
silence wormhole: where did the silence go
silver wormhole: Coleton Fishacre
time wormhole: sreet
travelling wormhole: breakfast

 

south horizon

Tags

1959, 1967, 1979, 1993, 1999, 2011, 2012, 7*, abandonment, anger, Bowie, childhood, Dad, discovery, divorce, drum, evening, experience, horizon, light, London, Margaret Thatcher, memory, Mum, Nan, pain, parents, perspective, purple, rhythm, river, saxophone, shift, Shooters Hill, south, texture, Thames, travelling, words, world

                south horizon

                out on the river
                the purple is shifting

                but in the evening-bulb light
                the world-shaping words

                of grown ups
                is shifting uncontrollably

                but,          no; it’s OK          look
                there is rhythm, there is

                a saxophone, a hi-hat – shflpt –
                in the crack there

                where words sift
                where worlds shift

 

I submitted this to an online magazine; they didn’t want it; I’ll publish it here again with the copy that supported it:

about the poem: on my eighth birthday (in 1967) my Dad arrived home late from work; my parents had one of their last arguments; my Dad left home that night; I couldn’t remember much of what happened that night – what was said, how much I heard, how much I understood – but I realised that worlds could change quite quickly that night; years later, in 1993, David Bowie recorded ‘south horizon’ on his ‘Buddha of Suburbia’ album, but I didn’t really get to know the piece until 2011; hearing it etched that experience back into my memory – bevelled it up, almost – but it also supplied textures and chord changes to the memory that allowed me a perspective that held me from being just angry or hurt; (‘the river’ is the river Thames; we lived on Shooters Hill in SE London from where we could hear and breathe the river)

author bio: Mark Redford was born in 1959 and grew up in South East London until he bolted to university (like a bat out of hell) in 1979, hot from Margaret Thatcher’s election victory; London was never the same every time he returned back; his mother, who had brought him up with her mother (his Grandmother), died in 1999; since then he has travelled back to London frequently to find the previous 40 years, but only seems to find them when he writes down what he saw; you can see what he sees (possibly better than he can) at: https://mlewisredford.wordpress.com/; if you bump into him there, give him some directions would you?

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

abandonment wormhole: monument to vainglory
Bowie wormhole: new-found love – poewieview #36
childhood & Thames wormhole: that comicbookshop … // … in dreams
Dad & divorce & texture wormhole: beepbeep
evening wormhole: alighted
horozon wormhole: 1966
light wormhole: so pleased to see you again
London wormhole: 1967
Mum wormhole: 1967
Nan wormhole: work
purple & river wormhole: the silent night of the Batman
travelling wormhole: traffic lights and broad avenue
words wormhole: breathing out
world wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – agricultural show

 

mauve / night

Tags

1979, 2015, connection, eyes, faces, hearing, lifetimes, mauve, night, others, people, silence, talking, walls, white, windows

 

 

 

                                          mauve
                                          night

                                          people
                                          talking

                                          white
                                          walls

                                          when
                                          through

                                          the tall
                                          windows

                                          a single
                                          golden

                                          howl blew
                                          silently

                                          outside
                                          no one

                                          heard but
                                          everyone

                                          turned to
                                          recognise

                                          the call in
                                          common

                                          from all
                                          our various

                                          lives and
                                          back to each

                                          others’ faces
                                          and eyes

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

eyes wormhole: ‘from under the awning …’
faces wormhole: the Conqueror
lifetimes & walls wormhole: that comicbookshop in dreams,
mauve wormhole: gre[wh]y / has Daddy left us?
night wormhole: for goodness’ sake
others wormhole: recovered
silence wormhole: my life / of others
talking wormhole: dream 230315
white wormhole: three musicians
windows wormhole: 1963

 

‘discution poli / d’orage …’

Tags

1979, dog, haiku, passing, portrait, sea, talking

 

 

 

                                                         discution poli
                                       d’orage, alors les deux chiens
                                          regardaient la mer

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

dog & passing & talking wormhole: Totnes
haiku(esque) wormhole: gazing at the night / as my eyes passed the jagged hole / my head disappeared
sea wormhole: between

 

Christmas

Tags

'scape, 1979, 6*, Batman, carlights, childhood, Christmas, eyes, gold, green, Herbert Road, iron, orange, puddle, snow, streetlight, time, wind

 

 

 

                                   Christmas

                                   short eyes: orange
                                   street lamps
                                   iron puddles

                                   soon eyes:
                                   winking
                                   car lights 4:30

                                   smart eyes:
                                   papers
                                   brush the ankles

                                   crown eyes:
                                   golden paper and
                                   green eyes

                                   arching eyes:
                                   reindeer’s eyes
                                   Batman’s eyes

                                   coat of snow
                                   crate of sharp eyes
                                   cradle

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Batman wormhole: never there
childhood wormhole: glass
Christmas wormhole: yet another sprain / of ‘Jingle Bells’ straining / to propagate yet another / tired Christmas spirit – … / ‘sanner clawsis coming t’ taunn – yeah’ in a / coffee shop with condensation / running off the snowflake transfers / and the iphone at the next table / talking how 50 means 900 a month – not worth / the drive (left his scarf behind – / collateral) … about my age
eyes & time wormhole: Plumstead – Woolwich – Plumstead 290508 – / the breath of London
gold wormhole: across the room / through the patio doors / through the conservatory windows / at the bottom of the garden / the still bifurcated trunk of / the oak / before the let-grown hair and fringes / of the fir tree / blown every lifetime in a while by the winter sun // actually
green wormhole: Matildenplatz / & Luisen
Herbert Road wormhole: still there?
orange wormhole: Luisenplatz
snow wormhole: bass and piano
streetlight wormhole: the Last Day of Morecambe Illuminations
wind wormhole: no cars / no planes

 

glass

Tags

'scape, 1979, 5*, bathroom, buildings, childhood, emergence, Genesta Road, moonlight, night, silence, windows

 

 

 

                                              the moonlight
                                on the side of the building
                through the frosted glass window quietly
                                              exploded

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

bathroom wormhole: ‘mint toothpaste …’
buildings & Genesta Road wormhole: Plumstead – Woolwich 121114
childhood & windows wormhole: 1967
emergence wormhole: tag cloud poem VI – anyone’s eyes
night wormhole: footfall
silence wormhole: no cars / no planes

 

the air of architecture

Tags

1978, 1979, 2013, 4*, architecture, being, experience, eyes, Paris, reading, summer, time

                           I read a book during the summer of ‘78
                           or ’79 I cannot remember the title I can-
                           not remember the author I cannot rem-
                           ember the plot or any of the characters
                           I cannot remember the cover and am
                           not sure I would recognise it again if I
                           found it in a second hand bookshop –
                           it was set in Paris, I think, and involved
                           prostitutes, possibly, but nevertheless
                           left a slight flavour at the back of my
                           eyeballs which I haven’t been able
                           to blink away no matter how deep
                           I breathe the air of architecture

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

architecture wormhole: titanic
being wormhole: posture
eyes wormhole: city-centre-coffee-shop / talk
Paris wormhole: wide-open / concentration
reading & time wormhole: letters to mum II – family // like a grate

 

Being There (1979)

Tags

1979, 2012, 6*, film, Hal Ashby, history, identity, image, Peter Sellers, power, society

film: Being There (1979); director: Hal Ashby; actors: Peter Sellers, Shirley MacLaine

 

 

 

                                the linger of history
                     in wooden rooms creaky with the skirting board
                                          wields power
                                always bigger than itself but
                                          always evanescent
                                          above the detail
                                despite the detail
                                despite the lives that it encloses
                                          so that life
                                                   and love
                                                   cannot speak and cannot be
                     free in the land of plenty and
                                image

                                          you can have the red lights
          you can have the mile-long driveway
                     you can have the paperwork and intelligence
                                but you have to have an apex
                     have to have the eye
                     which defines the grounds and domains
                                which must be the message
                                          and not the circumstance
                                          of person

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

film wormhole: the Reader (2008)
history wormhole: history
identity & power & society wormholes: Daredevil: Born Again (1987)

 

glass

Tags

'scape, 1979, 4*, galaxy, glass, stars, university, wardrobe, windows

 

 

 

                                                              glass

                                a galaxy balanced across
                                the edge of the wardrobe

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

glass wormhole: grain
stars wormhole: ‘from the …’
university wormhole: ‘the wrong door …’
windows wormhole: rose

 

experience of the huge

Tags

'scape, 1979, 4*, bird, death, sky, sound, trees, white

 

 

 

                                experience of the huge

                through the trees
                in the sky
                the monolith
                block of stone
                echoed along its
                flank

                a hummm
                between the trees
                                (“cathedral”)
                a bird screamed and
                as it died was
                split by a higher scream
                straight in our faces

                we found a small dead boy
                his lips were huge and swollen
                and pulled back
                to show his large white teeth

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

bird wormhole: looking for Lester
death wormhole: bbbrsshhh … sss …
sky wormhole: ‘our blue soft eyeballs kissed …’
sound wormhole: ‘the run of …’
trees wormhole: foreign affairs
white wormhole: one mirror