fifty-eight // and silent prayers

Tags

1979, 2017, 6*, age, birthday, blue, Castleton, clouds, cross-section, direction, gold, green, hair, heartbeat, hills, identity, knees, landscape, lifetimes, metal, neck, prayer, ripple, road, shirt, silence, silver, step, sun, time, travelling, walking, wandering

                                fifty-eight times now

                wandering dopey through another landscape

                                (walking) up into the hills
                                to find the golden sun –
                                sheet-metal through
                                flanks of cloud

                                the snaking A-road
                                sunk and cascaded
                                in 1979, petrified cross-
                                sections there to study

                                never travelling far
                                but up in giant gulp-steps
                                heart beats in the back
                                of the neck and down

                                through the knees
                                with the rising pass

                I stand now at fifty eight with clipped and

                                silvering hair with
                                check and green-blue
                                shirt and silent prayers
                                rippling to all directions

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

birthday wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – … as the new town marches in
blue wormhole: I
Cadtleton wormhole: walk from Castleton to Hope
clouds & hills wormhole: mauve
gold wormhole: so / do I keep on writing now I’ve retired, or … / Rumplestiltskin
green & walking wormhole: abandoned sound mirrors
hair & sun wormhole: ash leaves
identity wormhole: both modern and en-slaved / to life
lifetimes wormhole: oh, alright then
silence wormhole: where did the silence go
silver wormhole: Coleton Fishacre
time wormhole: sreet
travelling wormhole: breakfast

 

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walk from Castleton to Hope

Tags

'scape, 2013, 5*, beech, Castleton, field, hill, holiday, leaning, leaves, mauve, oak, passing, red, river, shadow, shape, time, walking

                walk from Castleton to Hope

                                magnificent
                oak grown into its own shape
                mid-field and backdropped
                completely over and rising
                                in hill

                                then later
                walking lightly beside the
                top leaves of the beech leaning
                effortlessly over the river from the
                                other bank

                                eventually
                up ahead out from under the shadow
                a perfect red and mauve –
                … no, a couple in their holiday
                                t-shirts

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Castleton wormhole: St. Edmund’s / Parish Church / Castleton
field & passing wormhole: prelude: // travel
holiday & leaves wormhole: lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light
mauve wormhole: 1968
oak wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J Redford – A Sign of the Times
red wormhole: greedy
river wormhole: south horizon
shadow wormhole: that comicbookshop … // … in dreams
time wormhole: wakeoutofadream
walking wormhole: garden

 

St. Edmund’s / Parish Church / Castleton

Tags

2013, 7*, black, blue, brass, Castleton, ceiling, church, metal, patience, silence, smell, sound, waiting, wood, writing

                                smell

                of centuried wood and polish
                misaligned and creaky and
                still held by metal twist brace
                with brass lamp-holders polished
                and blackening and spore
                of pew-bolster-cushions patient
                and attentive waiting

                                silently

                but for the crease and crankle
                of the notepad as I write these
                lines high among the rafters
                of the powder-blue ceiling

                                St. Edmund’s
                                Parish Church
                                Castleton

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

black wormhole: that comicbookshop … // … in dreams
blue & Castleton wormhole: lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light
church wormhole: and that’s where I are
silence wormhole: 1968 – orange sand and mauve mist
smell wormhole: too much in arrival
waiting wormhole: greedy
wood wormhole: prelude: // travel
writing wormhole: the goldilocks stance

 

lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light

Tags

2013, 7*, apple tree, awareness, being, blue, breeze, Castleton, death, doing, eggs, evening, feeling, feet, flying, glass, holiday, kitchen, leaves, life, light, living, mindfulness, placement, table, warp, weft

                lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening
                skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling
                the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo
                for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light

                                it is so sweet and simple
                                what I have to do: the keep
                                of mind on what I do the
                                turning of the lens until
                                what I am and what I do
                                are so clear and resplendent
                                that I can see each thread
                                of the warp and weft of the
                                blue gingham cloth hanging
                                over the edge of the wicker
                                basket holding speckless-
                                shaped eggs four to welcome
                                us to the holiday cottage

                back to Castleton two years on, cool feet on the fresh-laid flooring
                fresh breeze through the leaves of the apple tree
                but the drop-leaf table in the kitchen
                is mine all mine

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: redundant
being wormhole: too much in arrival
blue wormhole: ssreet chak-chak
breeze wormhole: in the / Citadel / Park / a leaf / new / ly fell
Castleton wormhole: on the raised patio reading Plath
death & life wormhole: stone
doing wormhole: prelude: // travel
evening wormhole: south horizon
feet wormhole: six paramitas
glass wormhole: Salisbury Cathedral // suspended in everything
holiday wormhole: holiday
kitchen wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – snow
leaves wormhole: monument to vainglory
living wormhole: wasted –
table wormhole: retirement

 

on the raised patio reading Plath

Tags

2013, aqua, branches, Castleton, clouds, garden, leaf, looking, passing, patio, reading, red, silence, Sylvia Plath

 

 

 

                                               on the raised patio reading Plath

                                               silent-echoing clouds fast overhead
                                               nothing drew me quick to fixedlook
                                               over my shoulder – dark red copper
                                               leaf and branch reaching long from
                                                            an aqua-glazed pot

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

branches wormhole: the dash is magnificent / the shadow grotesque
Castleton wormhole: the straight line of stones marking the geometry / of death / settle all their own levels over time to make / a new rhythm
clouds wormhole: Hypnopompia
garden wormhole: H e a v e
looking & passing wormhole: Brugges April 2015 – looking lost
reading wormhole: Desolation Angels
red wormhole: ‘the red and white …’
silence wormhole: time proceeds
Sylvia Plath wormhole: thar she perched

 

the straight line of stones marking the geometry / of death / settle all their own levels over time to make / a new rhythm

Tags

'scape, 2013, 6*, Castleton, death, fence, fir, grass, hills, iron, leaning, rhythm, rust, stone, time

 

 

 

              the straight line of stones marking the geometry
                   of death
              settle all their own levels over time to make
                   a new rhythm

              the iron fenced ones –
                   the rust of ages past –
              as the grasses reach up through them like
                   an array of grasses

              the stone-cross ones mottled-old like skin
                   ready to sag
              and the upright stones leaning forward to their various degrees
                   and backward like a child’s forest

              the huge upstart fir tree leans too
                   at a good 70º
              but by the flowing hills behind
                   it doesn’t seem so odd

 

 

 

                                       the church graveyard of St. Edmund’s, Castleton, Derbyshire

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Castleton wormhole: tag cloud poem IV – C
death wormhole: tag cloud poem V – draft-ness
fir wormhole: across the room / through the patio doors / through the conservatory windows / at the bottom of the garden / the still bifurcated trunk of / the oak / before the let-grown hair and fringes / of the fir tree / blown every lifetime in a while by the winter sun // actually
grass wormhole: the edges of my reach
hills wormhole: emerged
stone wormhole: may the supreme and precious jewel bodhichitta … // … take birth where it has not yet done so … // … where it has taken birth may it not decrease … // … but may it increase infinitely
time wormhole: b / l / u / e / s / at a right-angle

 

tag cloud poem IV – C

Tags

2014, being, birds, blue, career, Carol, cars, Castleton, cat, child, childhood, city, clouds, coffee shop, combe end, comics, communication, compassion, compromise, conservatory, crane, Crowborough, curtains, doing, evening, Germany, hills, house, hyperbole, Jon, life, mauve, olive, purple, sound, Spring, stone, streets, summer, sun, tag cloud poem, time, town, traffic

 

 

 

C is gridlocked in a
career of her own driving
stuck like so many cars winding their way through small hill-town high streets
            (Castleton in the summer where
             everybody wants their Blue John stone
             to remember that they have seen the hills)

                                                      … but a cat
            is always a pet and will search for the warmest spot in a house
and a pet is always a child searching for the evidence that they exist
                           and a child can only belong to a childhood
                                          already passed

                                          the city
            stays where it is – high and low – the
            clouds pass behind – fast and slow – the
            coffee shop ‘chinks’ and clutters all day
the curtains are drawn all up combe end in the evening in the suburbs

                           even in the city of comics
            the streets are mauve and purple (where the traffic makes the facades dirty oliveblue)
            where communication is declarative and desperate and
            compassion is hyperbolic and demonstrable
but the compromise must ever be invisible and unnoticed otherwise
            everything grinds to the self-conscious stop
                                          that ‘we built this city …’ to escape

            here in the conservatory
she lays in her favourite place and looks for a message from the son that moved to Germany
            the first of the Spring sun brings the reply like a silent crane
                           birds busily network all over Crowborough
                                         we have no curtains to draw here

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being wormhole: no quota too empty / no fate to fulfil
birds wormhole: tag cloud poem III – the journey to BEING and back again
blue & childhood & life & time wormhole: time
C wormhole: dream 040198 / Eglinton Hill
career wormhole: that’s me / in the corner that’s me in the spot light / losing my religion*
cars wormhole: 1963
Castleton wormhole: let
cat wormhole: existence
child wormhole: Beresford Square: // it’s alright it’s alright
city wormhole: Knapps
clouds wormhole: red net curtains / with appliqué blooms
coffee shop wormhole: tired
combe end & evening & house wormhole: star / through the kitchen / window
comics & sound wormhole: the sounds the difficulty and the long long strands of liquorice
communication wormhole: the Lamp
compassion wormhole: tag cloud poem II – acceptance
compromise wormhole: The Future of Teaching: performance or capability (‘oh, not ‘teaching’ then?’)
conservatory wormhole: across the room / through the patio doors / through the conservatory windows / at the bottom of the garden / the still bifurcated trunk of / the oak / before the let-grown hair and fringes / of the fir tree / blown every lifetime in a while by the winter sun // actually
crane wormhole: 1996 dream
Crowborough wormhole: the sun / in a clean / industrial / sky
curtains wormhole: rear attic / bedroom
doing & hills & streets wormhole: the edges of my reach
Jon wormhole: losing the anxiety
mauve wormhole: mlewisredford introductory complete life audit confessional
olive wormhole: still there?
purple wormhole: the strange mauve relief of / this burgundy-gritty encounter
Spring wormhole: coffee shop
stone wormhole: all the while / the flagpole rope / occasionally flaps / the breeze
sun wormhole: 25% scaffolding & rope
tag cloud poem wormhole: tag cloud poem III – the journey to BEING and back again

 

let

Tags

'scape, 2012, 4*, awareness, being, blue, branches, breeze, Castleton, Have, leaves, letting go, looking, red, silence, sitting, trees, walking, white, writing

 

 

 

          half-steps and shuffles all around Castleton
                         shall we buy this
                                   shall we have that
                                             fat from Having
               and with a headache from the red white and blue bunting I need some
                                      relief
               I need to sit and write
                               look up
               let everything go     quiet
                        let
               the single branch of the tree
                 wave
               as the outer leaves
          rustle

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness & writing wormhole: only
being & silence wormhole: across the room / through the patio doors / through the conservatory windows / at the bottom of the garden / the still bifurcated trunk of / the oak / before the let-grown hair and fringes / of the fir tree / blown every lifetime in a while by the winter sun // actually
blue & white wormhole: too
branches wormhole: only
breeze wormhole: zazen in everyday life
Castleton wormhole: all the while / the flagpole rope / occasionally flaps / the breeze
Have wormhole: Have what, now?
leaves wormhole: Eridge Station
letting go wormhole: gradually finding
looking & walking wormhole: through the window
red wormhole: red net curtains / with appliqué blooms
sitting wormhole: Child of Illusion
trees wormhole: 220712

 

all the while / the flagpole rope / occasionally flaps / the breeze

Tags

2013, 6*, blue, Castleton, child, church, flagpole, footsteps, glasses, grass, graveyard, green, passing, path, portrait, reading, sound, stone

 

 

 

                             all the while
                      the flagpole rope
                                   occasionally flaps
                             the breeze

                      the five year old walks
                      along behind his grandad

                      then he is on the grass
                      between the stones with
                      careful paunchy steps
                      turnsquick glasses that
                      already look middle-aged
                      to see if the grandad has
                      noticed already gone round
                      the front of the church he
                      turns back behind the stones

                      I return to my book –
                      running ‘placs’ of blue crocs
                      down the tarmac path

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

blue wormhole: (Little by Little)
Castleton & reading wormhole: swifts test the chasm of sky
church wormhole: demolition
glasses wormhole: new garden
grass wormhole: wraggle of architecture
green wormhole: 1965
passing wormhole: waiting
path wormhole: Peeks at Castleton
sound wormhole: Saturday
stone wormhole: thar she perched

 

swifts test the chasm of sky

Tags

'scape, 2013, 7*, anatta, being, breeze, Castleton, clouds, cottage, dark, doors, eyes, feet, grey, holiday, horizon, identity, life, living, mountain, plants, reading, rooftops, searching, sitting, sky, step, swifts, Sylvia Plath, table, tea, white

we ‘develop the stoop’ in the cottage through each door
we sit round the drop-leaf table in the corner elbows down

                                          I carry the mug of tea barefoot up the steps
                                          between upturned horse shoes and trailing plants

                to the patio surrounded and besieged by so many
                colourful plants each one self-contained and unknown

I sit and read of Plath’s life constricting like
an iris around the darkness so hard to achieve

                                            I sit with cushions behind but the chair is so hard
                                            I sit on the cushions but the chair leans back too far

and in between each breeze which scuffles the presence
of each plant the low traffic of cloud makes its way

                           slip above the rooftops orchestrated grey and white
                           tectonic a-glide under the spinal vapour trails and deeper up

                                          the mountain ranges immovable on the edge of horizon
                                          while swifts test the chasm of sky

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & clouds wormhole: Saturday
breeze & rooftops wormhole: afternoon 290613
Castleton wormhole: poetry
doors wormhole: anatta
eyes & reading wormhole: the strange mauve relief of / this burgundy-gritty encounter
feet wormhole: bell
grey wormhole: promenade
holiday wormhole: holiday
horizon & Sylvia Plath wormhole: thar she perched
identity wormhole: you fail
life wormhole: 32 years
living & white wormhole: where to find it
sitting wormhole: here
searching wormhole: losing the anxiety
sky wormhole: waiting
table wormhole: twisted / pulled / and chipped
tea wormhole: dawn