slow enough / to have love

Tags

2013, adjustment, ageing, breakdown, choice, confusion, consistency, doing, freedom, land, living, love, Martin Luther King, mountain, option, presumption, quiet, recognition, saviour, secret, shame, streets, stumbling, true nature, wasteland, work

                I used to skip and side-step all the
                too-presumptive adjustments
                for consistency and do it all

                in my own sweet way
                secretly hoping for recognition
                shamefully thinking to be the saviour

                now I’m confused and made old
                stumbling and doddering by the
                too-many prescriptive options to

                exercise the choice I am offered
                so I continue to do it all in my
                own sweet way, quiet enough

                to be effective, ignored enough
                to have scope and slow enough
                to have love; I have come to

                the top of the mountain and I have
                escaped a promised land
                four times injured to within

                an inch of my own true nature
                and I roam the streets and wastelands
                now, free at last, free at last

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

breakdown wormhole: strain
doing wormhole: lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light
living wormhole: written relief to / creeping anaesthesia / through palimpsest / and crankled page
love wormhole: handsome
quiet wormhole: open window
recognition wormhole: not / the Catcher
streets wormhole: landscape of cloud over London / with differing depths of grey
work wormhole: just saying, is all VII: // `spolitical

 

nothing // matters

Tags

2011, acceptance, achievement, agenda, consistency, doing, emptiness, expectation, hearing, identity, meaning, nothing, purpose, significance, thinking, values, world

 

 

 

                                              nothing

                nothing (that I thought matters)
                matters (in a world which juggles agendas)

                nothing (that I thought important)
                is important (in a world which is value-bled)

                nothing (that I had created)
                is significant (in a world that clings to consistency)

                nothing (I say)
                is heard (in a world that only expects)

                nothing (I do)
                is achieved (in a world with no manner)

                I came out of nothing
                tried hard to achieve something

                heard only the noise of my own effort
                                – no echo –

                maybe I should accept that
                there    –    is    –    nothing

                and as the texts then say
                everything happens and everything matters

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

accpetance wormhole: that
doing wormhole: is that so!
emptiness wormhole: start where / you are II
identity wormhole: you can only smell the candles / when they have been snuffed out
meaning wormhole: my life / of others
thinking wormhole: up here
values wormhole: Totnes
world wormhole: the stance of Buscema // qualitatively

 

poessay IX – … just saying, is all II

Tags

2013, 5*, career, conformity, consistency, dialogue, education, expectation, managerialism, outcome-led education, poessay, practice, professionalism, rhetoric, speech, teaching, value-bled education, value-led education

                poessay IX – … just saying, is all II

                                              listening
                to a teacher delivering to his group: “… them’s the rules and regulations … it is vital that … looking smart …”
                                … something about school uniform
                                                              I guess

                                                              it is this corporate appearance – led rhetoric in education
                which I can no longer even pretend to back
                                because career-long I have not been able to engage any
                                              dialogue with it

                being ‘professional’ has ceased to be a practice
                                              it is now a conformity
                                                              it is now a consistency
                                                                                 no dialogue
                                                                                 just expectation
and we all know what happens to consistency when the lead shifts
                from value-led to outcomes-led
                                (yes … value-bled)

                                              I have not been able to work out a position
                                              behind the rhetoric because
                I have not been allowed the ‘give’ (of course the ‘take’ is ‘rivers deep mountains wide’)
                                              the ‘call’
                                and certainly the ‘response’
                                                              has been dodged and bluffed like a poker hand        

                the exercise and practice of teaching professionalism
                                has been ‘chumped’ up down and sideways
                                                              never to be listened to again and again and again            

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

career wormhole: first a mishap then clear vision
education wormhole: I could step / more open
managerialism wormhole: what I am about to say is true / what I just said was a lie
poessay wormhole: poessay VII: // true revolution
practice wormhole: should is good when / too used to cruise
professionalism wormhole: just saying, is all – III
speech wormhole: a cup of tea, gov
teaching wormhole: letters to Mum III – ongoing-term // eventually
value-led education wormhole: teaching: which is it going to be, procedure or nurture?

 

that’s me / in the corner that’s me in the spot light / losing my religion*

Tags

2012, 5*, April, career, consistency, faith, grey, hope, identity, managerialism, professional development, recognition, red, religion, slogans, teaching, waiting

 

 

 

                                                                          that’s me
                                           in the corner that’s me in the spot light
                                                    losing my religion*

                                   I lost my faith in 2005
                                   against a grey-red wall with
                                   only clutter and no hope
                                   that teaching was of
                                   any contact on a day
                                   in April after waiting
                                   four long years for
                                   response to my call
                                   and hearing only
            slogans and standards while you
                                                   you were all busy and pressed
                                   being consistent

 

*yes, yes, of course; lines from ‘Losing My Religion‘ by R.E.M – I do not claim that I wrote these words (and I certainly don’t make any money through publishing them on my blog – *ironic emoticon*), just that I nicked them because they fitted so well as the title to the experience I had died through and the piece I had written ‘to see if I still feel’ (I didn’t write those last words either, if you can tell me who did I will award you one of the left over No Prizes that I never won during the Mighty Marvel Age) but that the words pervade the fabric of my dysfunctional relationship with teaching like the smell of cooked cabbage is mine, wholly mine, I tellya

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

career & managerialism & professional development wormhole: … just saying is all I
grey wormhole: I glimpse above the rooftops
identity wormhole: no quota too empty / no fate to fulfil
recognition wormhole: lost self
red wormhole: …still waving!
teaching wormhole: I don’t think I could do it anymore
waiting wormhole: waiting