Candaka

Tags

2019, 6*, Arya Lalitavistara, Buddha, Candaka, dharma, dream, gazing, gods, horizon, Kanthaka, meaning, renunciation, role, society, step, sword, the Four Signs, trees, yesterday

                Candaka

                out from the trees
                he emerged but was bedraggled

                he stared just under
                ahead, no longer to triumphant horizons

                his jaw hung as if forgot to locate
                no further to commend

                and his sword listed, tinny and tarnished,
                unsure to hand;

                just yesterday
                was a dream where he played the part

                of losing each part that he had played
                step by tired step

                and out of step with Kanthaka’s step;
                he had lost the Prince

 

etching, from the Arya Lalita Vistara Nama Mahayana Sutra; Chandaka was the charioteer and the groom for the Prince, Siddhartha Gautama, his chauffeur, in a way, but also a confidant, to some extent; it was Chandaka who led the Prince out of palace-life where the Prince encountered the Four Signs (four features of life which he hadn’t taken into account in his privileged life – old age, illness, death and living outside of society and social role); Kanthaka was the Prince’s magnificent horse, worthy of bearing a sovereign, the epitome of beauty, strength and transport; despite society and role obliging the Prince to remain in the palace and fulfil his dharma as king, his urge to get to the bottom of purpose and life was strong from previous lifetimes of vows … he had to leave; the gods themselves helped the Prince escape – it was only Chandaka who did not fall into a deep sleep; Kanthaka’s hooves did not strike the ground, the gates flew open by themselves – because they wanted someone to get to the bottom of purpose and life as well; both Chandaka and Kanthaka were devoted to the Prince but could not fully appreciate the gravity of the Prince’s quest, they played their roles – their dharma – but without full agency: all they could appreciate was the challenge to role and society that they had participated in, and no means to understand beyond that …

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Buddha & renunciation wormhole: light of all interaction
dreams wormhole: “And anger it is that lays in ruins / every kind of mental goodness.”
horizon wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J. Redford – The Valley
meaning wormhole: A Corner of the Garden at the Hermitage, 1877
society wormhole: looking for the right exit
trees wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J. Redford – Rain

 

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on walking through walls

Tags

2013, ageing, awareness, balance, being, breath, breathing, dharma, doing, letting go, life, pattern, pausing, pointlessness, rhythm, self, time, walls

 

 

 

                                on walking through walls

                        expulsion of air starting with a ‘p …’
        … well, hold on a minute
this all sounds a bit grim
                        a bit Byronic-heroic

        and where there’s grim
        there’s usually gritted teeth
        (and pulled ligaments once you get older)
                trying to hold the balance

                        no fun
                        no beauty
                        just flexed jaw
        muscular and tight-lipped
                so enforced in its own sense of dharma-drama that it
                        loses the action
                        for the self that grims it
wandering about in the fog that obscures all direction
                        and perspective
                to balance

                all the while unaware
                                – inhalation with a wide ‘e …’ –
        of the sheer-joy-innocence
                        of the folds on the back
                        of the well-seated chair
        the silence of the swirls on the carpet
                        when last vacuumed
                                        oh yes
and the timelessness of the ticking second hand
        holding
        all of the silences
                        in rhythm

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: the art of sit and follow
balance wormhole: – sigh! –
being & letting go wormhole: for goodness’ sake
breath & breathing wormhole: is that so!
doing wormhole: truly invisible
life & time wormhole: 1971
pointlessness wormhole: my life / of others
walls wormhole: good session

 

– sigh! –

Tags

2014, 7*, attention, awareness, balance, being, Bodhichitta, confession, conscientiousness, dark, dharma, doing, effort, emptiness, faces, giving, identity, India, institution, jewel, joke, living, meditation, Nalanda, paramitas, patience, posture, practice, realisation, Shantideva, sitting, sky, society, speech, step, talking, voices, vow, wisdom, words

                                – sigh! –

they built the throne high
                homage to the words which reach to the sky
                                homage to the words which dissolve into sky
                                              due and proper

                they built it too high
                                              with no steps
                                              with no steps!
                                                              the worst sort of idolatry
                                              all homage and no practice
                                all industry and no yield
                all protocol and no truth
                realisation stuck in amber
                                              the way of all institutions with walls

                                they seek to expose indolence
                as earnestly as if it were true practice
                                              for the sake of the Teaching
                                they would renounce even eating sleeping and defecating
                                              for the sake of all beings
                                the Teaching cannot be besmirched

                                              wide sky everywhere
                but it is so dark …

                                              the throne is not high
                                I am not low
                                              I shall sit on the throne
                                I shall sit on the floor
                                              shall I give them a talk
                                or shall I talk
                                              I shall talk

                of jewels in refuse
                     and refuse in hiding
                          of vows to pause
                               and pause to keep finding
                                    of finding to step
                                         and stepping with poise
                                              of poise to balance
                                                   and balance to sit
                                                        of the sky the sky the sky
                                                             of the sky and everything

                look at their faces –
                                some of them got my jokes
                                              (a few of them saw them coming)
                most looked around the place to see where my voice was coming from –
                                all of them are so perfect
                                              but variously blind

                                              anyway
                                I’m off to the South now … oh!
                                                              I never left!

 

if you’ve made it all the way down here it might make fuller sense if read before or after this, or this, or this; or it might not, or it might both alternately, or it might neither permanently; either way, or not, I am happy to have propagated the name of Shantideva

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

attention wormhole: sunny morning
awareness wormhole: no biggie:
balance & voices wormhole: should is good when / too used to cruise
being & doing & emptiness & realisation wormhole: that
Bodhichitta wormhole: may the supreme and precious jewel bodhichitta … // … take birth where it has not yet done so … // … where it has taken birth may it not decrease … // … but may it increase infinitely
faces wormhole: tag cloud poem VII – form new freedom:
giving wormhole: the utter beauty of giving when receiving
identity & living & sky & speech & talking wormhole: Plumstead – Woolwich 121114
meditation wormhole: posture
posture wormhole: smiling
practice wormhole: poessay IX – … just saying, is all II
Shantideva wormhole: multifarious: the Dark Knight Returns (1986)
sitting wormhole: there are patient listeners
society & words wormhole: Dr Strange III – the needs of billions

 

stuck free to move within

Tags

2013, 6*, anxiety, centrifugal, centripetal, clouds, dharma, doing, hope, life, light, morning, nostalgia, panic, pointlessness, reading, settling, silence, sitting, spaceship, sun, talking to myself, walls

 

 

 

                there is no sacred action
                there is no mundane action
                other than anxiety makes it so

                my pointless life is stuck free to move within it
                                not before it
                                not out through the other side

                I can’t see where to go
                I can’t remember where I’ve been
                other than panic propels me around
                both centrifugal and centripetal together
                both hopeful and nostalgic
                                together

                                              but
                I’ve read the books (so often now
                that I keep on missing the point) it is
                the quietly turning centre point of all the anxiety and panic
                                              that will illuminate the whole wall
                                like a spaceship cloud at sunrise

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

anxiety & settling wormhole: no biggie:
clouds wormhole: open window
doing & life wormhole: contemplating my painted copy / of Vallejo’s Conan
light & morning wormhole: sitting up in bed s i m u l t a n e o u s l y
pointlessness & silence & walls wormhole: Tulips by Sylvia Plath – How Far To Step Before You Raise The Other Foot
reading & talking to myself wormhole: day off
sitting wormhole: !
sun wormhole: a cup of tea, gov