I stared at the pattern of the carpet
driving my cars behind the settee
while my parents said final things
to each other; the twirl of the branches
a better life, the curl of a flower;
you’d better go, the border; and
never step back in this house again,
the shadow of the leaf is also a
darker green; I had never studied
the pattern before – never had to,
never could – I can work it out now,
see how it repeats; I think something
is happening with Mum and Dad
on the other side of the settee; but
this pattern continues around the
whole carpet, around the whole room;
only later – in bed – is it announced
what I had already known, and only
then could I ask why does it have to
happen to us and cry; only when it
was announced, only when it was
expressed; I had already known
but I could only count the patterns,
I could only drive the cars; and
as I cried, I was numb – pattern
before settee – I could fracture
from the world, just find a pattern;
you’re the man of the house now,
someone said to me, so I studied
the pages of comicbooks – patterns
of power, solving under cowl,
jumping under cape, between the
skyline and the world: I shall
throw stones high, until they
don’t come down; I shall dig so low
that no one could follow, no;
I shall count all numbers; I shall
collect all numbers; I shall
discover all planets; I shall adopt
the posture of heroes, no; I shall
number the histories; I shall weave
the texture of music; I shall taste
the shock of lyric; I shall smell
the books, no; I shall sunlight
the chorus; I shall cry the biography;
I shall see the image, and write them
into existence, yes; I shall follow
the curl and the twist and the twirl
under moonlight all the night long;
then, I shall play catch in the rye;
I shall alors les boulevards; I shall
yin the old yang; I shall surreal in
the fog; I shall honour my guru
I shall marry my wife; I shall father
my children; I shall teach in those classes –
but forty two years on, he had still
just left; and I still didn’t know how
to be the man; time to get out from
behind the settee, take a seat with
all the others, and
just
sit there with them all awhile
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
abandonment & divorce wormhole: … back to the outbreath
Batman wormhole: zok! and pow!
bedroom & Dad wormhole: 1959 –– MANHATTAN –– 2012
being & identity & talking to myself & world & writing wormhole: out!
books wormhole: library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!
branches wormhole: Exceat to Cuckmere Haven
carpet wormhole: Ashdown Forest / 080213 14:47
cars wormhole: after all?
childhood & music wormhole: fantasia
comics wormhole: Detective Comics #345
compassion wormhole: de Boeddha // of light
father wormhole: sight / seeing
fog wormhole: my life / of others
green wormhole: three musicians
history wormhole: Brugges April 2015 – looking lost
house wormhole: House by the Railroad, 1925
life & speech wormhole: “write, let’s break outta here!”
living room wormhole: Woolwich Central – making life better II
Mum wormhole: dream 230315
night wormhole: mauve / night
posture & sitting & superhero wormhole: exactly equal
power wormhole: the continental stride of trains
shadow & teaching wormhole: … anymore
skyline wormhole: The Louvre in a Thunderstorm, 1909
stone wormhole: Evening Wind, 1921
Superman wormhole: escape from Flat Planet
