Tags
2010, abandonment, ageing, Batman, bedroom, being, biography, birthday, books, border, branches, cape, carpet, cars, Catcher in the Rye, childhood, children, comics, compassion, counting, cowl, crying, Dad, divorce, father, flower, fog, fracture, French, green, guru, history, house, identity, image, leaf, life, living room, lyric, marriage, moonlight, Mum, music, night, numbers, parents, pattern, planets, posture, power, Salinger, self-compassion, sentient beings, settee, shadow, sitting, skyline, speech, stone, sunlight, superhero, Superman, surrealism, talking to myself, teaching, wife, world, writing, yin yang
I stared at the pattern of the carpet
driving my cars behind the settee
while my parents said final things
to each other; the twirl of the branches
a better life, the curl of a flower;
you’d better go, the border; and
never step back in this house again,
the shadow of the leaf is also a
darker green; I had never studied
the pattern before – never had to,
never could – I can work it out now,
see how it repeats; I think something
is happening with Mum and Dad
on the other side of the settee; but
this pattern continues around the
whole carpet, around the whole room;
only later – in bed – is it announced
what I had already known, and only
then could I ask why does it have to
happen to us and cry; only when it
was announced, only when it was
expressed; I had already known
but I could only count the patterns,
I could only drive the cars; and
as I cried, I was numb – pattern
before settee – I could fracture
from the world, just find a pattern;
you’re the man of the house now,
someone said to me, so I studied
the pages of comicbooks – patterns
of power, solving under cowl,
jumping under cape, between the
skyline and the world: I shall
throw stones high, until they
don’t come down; I shall dig so low
that no one could follow, no;
I shall count all numbers; I shall
collect all numbers; I shall
discover all planets; I shall adopt
the posture of heroes, no; I shall
number the histories; I shall weave
the texture of music; I shall taste
the shock of lyric; I shall smell
the books, no; I shall sunlight
the chorus; I shall cry the biography;
I shall see the image, and write them
into existence, yes; I shall follow
the curl and the twist and the twirl
under moonlight all the night long;
then, I shall play catch in the rye;
I shall alors les boulevards; I shall
yin the old yang; I shall surreal in
the fog; I shall honour my guru
I shall marry my wife; I shall father
my children; I shall teach in those classes –
but forty two years on, he had still
just left; and I still didn’t know how
to be the man; time to get out from
behind the settee, take a seat with
all the others, and
just
sit there with them all awhile
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
abandonment & divorce wormhole: … back to the outbreath
Batman wormhole: zok! and pow!
bedroom & Dad wormhole: 1959 –– MANHATTAN –– 2012
being & identity & talking to myself & world & writing wormhole: out!
books wormhole: library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!
branches wormhole: Exceat to Cuckmere Haven
carpet wormhole: Ashdown Forest / 080213 14:47
cars wormhole: after all?
childhood & music wormhole: fantasia
comics wormhole: Detective Comics #345
compassion wormhole: de Boeddha // of light
father wormhole: sight / seeing
fog wormhole: my life / of others
green wormhole: three musicians
history wormhole: Brugges April 2015 – looking lost
house wormhole: House by the Railroad, 1925
life & speech wormhole: “write, let’s break outta here!”
living room wormhole: Woolwich Central – making life better II
Mum wormhole: dream 230315
night wormhole: mauve / night
posture & sitting & superhero wormhole: exactly equal
power wormhole: the continental stride of trains
shadow & teaching wormhole: … anymore
skyline wormhole: The Louvre in a Thunderstorm, 1909
stone wormhole: Evening Wind, 1921
Superman wormhole: escape from Flat Planet
