poessay XI – piquant love

Tags

2019, 6*, arch, cause and conditionality, compromise, crane, doing, identity, intuition, knowledge, letting go, life, love, not knowing, obscuration, opportunity, others, poessay, scandal, self, shadow, sitting, thought, writing

poessay XI –

                lookitallathisabouttheplace –
                both the obscuration and the opportunity difficult
                either to see or to take:

                                I don’t know what to do –
                                inject into causality
                                project over condition (whatever

                                I’m sure that’s not the way to do) –
                                I can only know what I intuit
                                usually de-spite “I don’t know

                                but will step in line
                                if you let me join the gang”
                                best served unnoticeable

                                but not really
                                me no matter how deep the cover;
                                so back to the hunch –

                                crane reaching from the crumbling arch –
                                written up on giddy foolscap
                                (given half the chance, or notice)

                                but this is not me either
                                just a more clever ‘I don’t know’
                                than all the others who don’t know at all

                                or know by some rote too lazy
                                or compromised to know (what I
                                might know) or those who

                                say they know holding me deficient
                                that I don’t behave as they know
                                (compromised to behold), or then

                                there are those who seem to know
                                despite the prevalence and norm all about
                                from whom I absorb

                                through my very xylem
                                and then heavy-shadow them all about
                                but they don’t know either

                                just more mystically or glamorously so
                                until the scandal;
                                so don’t try to know at all

                                because any of this knowing
                                is just a whorl somewhere
                                within cascading causality

                                making sure my specious self;
                                just let the self go
                this knower, this knower so much better and deeper than anyone else who does not even know what is to be known,                

                                let it all go
                                and sit with the not-knowing,
                                watching all the fluidity with

                                                                                                piquant love

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

compromise wormhole: looking for the right exit
crane & doing & identity & thought & writing wormhole: travel // when I die
knowledge wormhole: Dulwich College, London, 1871
letting go wormhole: at Kreukenhof
life wormhole: psssssh
love wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J. Redford – The Valley
others wormhole: quietly in my quiet house
shadow wormhole: breakfast
sitting wormhole: – creak —

 

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poessay X: soul love – poewieview #2

Tags

2016, 7*, appearance, art, assimilation, asymmetry, Bowie, bread, butter, centrifugal, centripetal, chords, communication, defining, depression, dichotomy, eclectic, existence, gold, I, identity, illusion, inside, insight, leaves, liberation, living, love, meaning, music, naïveté, nose, octave, others, outside, piano, poessay, right & wrong, seeing, semantics, soul, superhero, syntax, warp, weft, words, world

                poessay X: soul love

                thin depression
                like butter over frozen bread
                when things go well, a shoulder tap,
                the superhero mask with no nose;

                somethings is not right
                outside or in, oneself aren’t what I thought, we
                just don’t co-ordinate as we should
                creating havoc with syntax; but there

                the gold, the outsight,
                that things isn’t quite right
                allows a cleaner, naïve sights of your leaves¹ as long as ‘I don’t fit’
                doesn’t get in the way;

                maybe ‘things’ don’t exist as they appear (or,
                even, shouldn’t),
                that everything are wrong (with
                trans-dualistic semantic); where depression

                is trying to maintain an illusion in a world we did not create (‘wauuugh’),²            
                not proof that ‘we’ is wrong but insight
                to what ‘things’ truly is, and where
                art could be liberative,

                if communicative; which is why Bowie w/is
                important: no sense but the weft of asymmetry
                and the warp of dichotomy in … love
                for other/s-ness-eh city, where eclectic

                assimilation is the means of meaning, always
                far wider than defined, where chordings and octaves are
                centripuntal to word; or not …
                with damn good piano solo

 

¹ this piece of work grew out of a conversation with Johnbalaya which we had over coffee and jam on toast one mornings in the pages of Powieviews; orange juice anyone?
² an mlewisredford No-Prize if you can tell me which character’s strap-line this is; c’mon, c’mon …

Read the collected movements in David Bowie: Movements in Suite Major

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Bowie & identity & naïveté wormhole: sixty four sixty five
communication wormhole: … the discipline of shamatha / the waft of vipashyana
depression & music wormhole: Poewieviews
gold & living & love wormhole: finding my own true nature – Plumstead, Woolwich, 190915
leaves wormhole: along
meaning & world wormhole: let the dreams / become the ghosts they / always were
others & piano wormhole: com- / mute
poessay wormhole: poessay IX – … just saying, is all II
seeing wormhole: Office at Night, 1940
superhero wormhole: sit
words wormhole: when writing // stay

 

poessay IX – … just saying, is all II

Tags

2013, 5*, career, conformity, consistency, dialogue, education, expectation, managerialism, outcome-led education, poessay, practice, professionalism, rhetoric, speech, teaching, value-bled education, value-led education

                poessay IX – … just saying, is all II

                                              listening
                to a teacher delivering to his group: “… them’s the rules and regulations … it is vital that … looking smart …”
                                … something about school uniform
                                                              I guess

                                                              it is this corporate appearance – led rhetoric in education
                which I can no longer even pretend to back
                                because career-long I have not been able to engage any
                                              dialogue with it

                being ‘professional’ has ceased to be a practice
                                              it is now a conformity
                                                              it is now a consistency
                                                                                 no dialogue
                                                                                 just expectation
and we all know what happens to consistency when the lead shifts
                from value-led to outcomes-led
                                (yes … value-bled)

                                              I have not been able to work out a position
                                              behind the rhetoric because
                I have not been allowed the ‘give’ (of course the ‘take’ is ‘rivers deep mountains wide’)
                                              the ‘call’
                                and certainly the ‘response’
                                                              has been dodged and bluffed like a poker hand        

                the exercise and practice of teaching professionalism
                                has been ‘chumped’ up down and sideways
                                                              never to be listened to again and again and again            

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

career wormhole: first a mishap then clear vision
education wormhole: I could step / more open
managerialism wormhole: what I am about to say is true / what I just said was a lie
poessay wormhole: poessay VII: // true revolution
practice wormhole: should is good when / too used to cruise
professionalism wormhole: just saying, is all – III
speech wormhole: a cup of tea, gov
teaching wormhole: letters to Mum III – ongoing-term // eventually
value-led education wormhole: teaching: which is it going to be, procedure or nurture?

 

poessay VII: // true revolution

Tags

2010, 2013, 6*, being, breathing, doing, emotion, emptiness, living, others, poessay, reality, revolution, Sartre, sitting, talking to myself, thought

 

 

 

                                              poessay VII:

                                              true revolution
                                is in the mind
                                              it starts as Sartre said
                                when you say no but does not
                                              inevitably
                                become transitive action
                                              denying for others
                                              denying through others
                                                              that would be a violence
                                a personal experience made to shape another’s reality no

                                              the no
                                              actually
                                isn’t even a denial more an
                                              acknowledgement
                                              more a watching
                                more a not-becoming-beguiled-in-it
                                              not becoming en-guiled
                                                              by not caging reality
                                                              by not declaring reality by it
                                by not ‘avving a word’ so

                                              what is it
                                that you say no to?
                the eternal tapestry of thoughts and emotions
                                which are the froth of reality
                                but not the reality itself
                                              once it has all settled
                                                              of its own accord
                                                                                 the form is emptiness
                and all the thoughts and feelings that tessellate during sitting
                                              which are noticed – thinking –
                                              and let go – breathing –
                                                              return to the emptiness that they never left

                                              sitting
                                is practising revolution
                                              like a Moebius strip
                                              and so is
                                living
                afterwards

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & doing & living & talking to myself wormhole: the pocket
breathing wormhole: ‘til death do us part
emptiness wormhole: multifarious: the Dark Knight Returns (1986)
others wormhole: silent crash // … / after all
poessay wormhole: poessay VIII: / educational behaviourism
reality wormhole: I glimpse above the rooftops
sitting wormhole: the en-gentled / end of a wan / writing retreat
thought wormhole: words

 

poessay VIII: / educational behaviourism

Tags

2012, 4*, behaviourism, communication, compromise, consultation, consumerism, creativity, dialogue, education, educational behaviourism, giving, Have, identity, learning, management, managerialism, measure, mechanism, opening, poessay, results-led education, teaching, vocation

                                poessay VIII:
                                educational behaviourism

                     teaching is a
                                conversation
                                          between teacher and pupil between school and teacher

                     management of education
                                has shifted from collegiate sharing to hierarchical interview
                                          without consultation

                     a velvet coup deep into the Heartland of Vocation – the desire to give Opening of Mind –                
                                          which has nullified teacher creativity and reduced learning to                
                                                      controlled behaviour, which you can Have

                                dialogue is dissipated
                                communication devolves to
                                demand and consumption
                                there is no interaction
                                there is no communication
                                only mechanism
                                because mechanism is easily switched
                                and mechanism is easily measured

                     the more that communication is systemic and systematic
                                the more it provides springboard for pupils to define themselves            
                                          against

                     the inverse norm of behaviour in which individuals site themselves            
                                and against which education must then try to            
                                          work

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

communication wormhole: sunny day
compromise wormhole: tag cloud poem IV – C
creativity wormhole: I don’t think I could do it anymore
education wormhole: Put service back into people rather than productivity
giving & Have wormhole: multifarious: the Dark Knight Returns (1986)
identity & teaching wormhole: “I think I’ll have a nice sandwich”
learning wormhole: Assessment for Learning: the Lamp
management & results-led education wormhole: … just saying is all I
managerialism wormhole: that’s me / in the corner that’s me in the spot light / losing my religion*
poessay wormhole: poessay VI: // truth

 

poessay VI: // truth

Tags

2010, 2013, 3*, compromise, economics, Have, poessay, society, truth

 

 

 

                                poessay VI:

                                Have
                does not discuss it states
                                Have
                does not seek discourse
                it is declarative and absolutive
                                and usually
                                catastrophive

                                Have
                is often bashful because
                it is not quite sure how far and
                                wide the
                                compro
                                mise is
                                but con
                stantly seeks it out none
                                the
                                less

                                truth

                is whatever enables a transaction –
                                it is right
                because the transaction took place
                                relative
                                solely to
                                the deal
                                with only
                nominal reference to definition –

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

compromise wormhole: ‘consumption is compromise: …’
economics & society wormholes: Have
Have wormhole: poetry
poessay wormhole: poessay V: // writing / as practice while / writing

 

poessay V: // writing / as practice while / writing

Tags

2012, 8*, acceptance, awareness, block, breathing, distraction, growth, identity, inclusion, lifetimes, metaphor, poessay, sitting, time, vindication, writing

 

 

 

                                              poessay V:

                                              writing
                                   as practice while
                                      writing

          I cannot always find
                      the Right Moment to write
          I cannot always find
                      the groove enough to breathe
          usually because I am not awareing
                      something within me
                      circulating as if blood of its own
                      while I am still chasing
                                   some dream of vindication

          just sitting has taught me so far
                      that it is difficult to just sit
                      because of the whole chapters
                      of backstory and echo
                      that stain the mind blind
                      of the most infant awareness of being
          and the practice of just sitting
                      is to antidote the stain
                      by saturating the awareness
                      through each and every chapter paragraph
                                   word letter and breath

          when stuck in writing –
                      pen poised stare off pick head
                      until I manually bring my pen
                                   back onto line –
          instead I should aware the vagueries as they occur
                      and widen my writing to include them
                      and thereby resolve them
                                   as I write …

                      there
          after the last ‘write’        (… no, no that would be too obvious …)
                      I spent a whole career
                      with the litany of hurt
                      in long scrolls of account
                                   so far away
                      from what I was writing
                      so intent on the vindication
                      that I didn’t see it build up
                      until it burst into the room
                      and took my ink away
          if I was alert I would have included it with wide metaphor
                      to become the point I was making
                      or rather widened the point
                      to include the true intent that I
                      hadn’t yet fully realised

          writing words in their succession
          is like being aware while sitting
                                   in that
          the words widen to include the vagueries as the awareness does too
          but neither the awareness nor the writing
                                   go with
                                   the vagueries
                      they just watch them

                      in both practices
          I need to let go the investment and desperation
          of my tin-pot identities and insistences
          and fling my arms wide to embrace them all
                      each and every one

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

acceptance & lifetimes wormhole: slipstream
awareness & breathing wormholes: on holiday
[writer’s] block & vindication wormholes: the writing’s / on the wall
identity wormhole: now
poessay wormhole: poessay IV
sitting wormhole: ‘I am a secret / superhero …’
time wormhole: Sunday
vindication & writing wormhole: the writing’s / on the wall

 

poessay IV

Tags

2012, 7*, creativity, emptiness, Have, horizon, identity, poessay, samsara, thought

 

 

 

        poessay IV

                                              whenever thought
                                goes beyond its own eyes
                                                         and beyond its own breath
                     and it feels good
                                              a field is created instantly
                                vast and breathless
                                                         a release a land a view
                     there is a horizon
                                there is the distance to the horizon
                                              and there is all manner of possibility
                                                         in between
                                              there is a liberation from only
                                                         there is a discernment of self
        I have the space to act
                                                                      I have the boundary to speak
                                                         this is the sheer creation – let there be –
                                out of the nothing that was there before

                                              but now I am defined
                                omega to the alpha        yang to the yin
        I have proliferated
                                                         all of a sudden I turn round
                                there is a body and I am in it
                                                         I have lost the emptiness
                     that I reached from in the beginning

                                              cacophony everywhere

                                                                      now I have forgotten the emptiness
                                although I feel it all around me

                                              more
                     the field is apparent now
                                                         it is wide it is deep
                                there are others who can repeat what it offers
                                              others who can seed it
                                                         others who can harvest it
                                                         others who can own it
                                                                      I have lost the field as well
                     I have forgotten that it was mine
                                I have forgotten that it was me
                                                                                    fields and nations everywhere

                                              I know
                                                                      I’ll have another idea …

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

contributing to … poessays
creativity wormhole: ”hmm …’ …’
emptiness wormhole: gift
Have wormhole: poessay II
horizon wormhole: 1970 // just now
identity wormhole: ‘every once in a while …’
poessay wormhole: poessay II
samsara wormhole: Have
thought wormhole: while / walking

 

poessay II

Tags

2010, 5*, choice, democracy, doubt, freedom, Have, individualism, poessay, production, society

 

 

 

                                                      poessay II

                      democracy is the exercise of choice
                           in society
                      society is the field and condition
                           where option is proffered because
                      to have choice you need the freedom
                           of having alternative
                      having alternative requires over-production
                           to provide it

                      the act of choosing is controllable simply
                           by mixing fiscal value and social ethic so that
                      personal choice leaves a frisson of doubt
                           tentative amid the choices of others
                      doubt disempowers action
                           no longer certain
                      disempowered action spores
                           housing estates of closets

                      so there is no freedom
                           there is no free choice
                      there is no democratic society
                           in a Democratic Society

 

 

 

contributing to … poessays
Have wormhole: song
poessay wormhole: poessay III: jijimuge
society wormhole: anxiety of option

 

poessay III: jijimuge

Tags

2011, 5*, growth, Have, knowledge, poessay, poetry, power, words

 

 

 

                                   poessay III: jijimuge

                     to allow any knowledge to
                           accumulate
                     it must be valued as
                           relative
                     therefore
                           a-valuable
                     so that it cannot render
                           understanding

                     you cannot find
                           a Way
                     with accumulated knowledge you become
                           anodyne
                     to discussion and open to
                           hijack and
                           manipulation of the agenda

                     communication becomes a wrestle
                           thrown grunted slammed
                     but nevertheless loosely
                           choreographed
                     words become the stock of the exchange
                           but not the value each word just
                           a nickel or a dime
                     the value of words today
                     is as means to exercise
                           power
                     through allegiance
                     to the notion of a
                           freedom inherent in democracy

                     I would rather look through a perfect glass stone
                     look through one facet and see all other facets either near or distant
                           but all related
                     and then another facet
                           still all-included but
                                   inter-relatedly
                                   inter-referenced
                                   inter-valuably
                                   inter-semantically
                     not dispersed
                           like gas

 

 

 

contributing to … poessays
Have wormhole: he Had
knowledge wormhole: listen willya
poessay wormhole: poessay I
poetry wormhole: what …
power wormhole: song of irrelevance
words wormhole: south horizon