did Dad leaving
trigger my sense of revolution or
my sense of depression
that there is no purpose
in the world
that I would eventually have to find the courage
to face those new tremors,
but five years on,
there, between the given textures
already cheap and fraying
or did revolution trigger Dad to leave
and find some other way
to find some truer nature?
-O~~~
I didn’t want the headphones, now
I didn’t want the commentary
all safely wrapped and bordered
so I kept my own eyes
open and saw 50 year old memorabilia
strangely mute, now
despite the peacock-print
and little in between
save shuffling overcoats with
no sense of direction where to go
save their right of individual
way
~~~O-
I don’t think I want the revolution
anymore –
away with your awkward sex! –
I want to know the innate freedom
I trust I have already,
save for my sense of right of way
I cried for fifty years later that evening
it is hard to lose your way returning home
cut up and turning in circles
hoping for the right lane
lights on and direction to go
everywhere
signed
and passing overhead
it is hard to arrive
toe to toe
with a fifty year old overcoat
with no face
but a blinking eye
and me with no headphones
beepbeep
on 30th October 2016, I visited the Victoria & Albert Museum exhibition @You Say You Want a Revolution’ – Records and Rebels 1966-1970 (a birth day present, thank you, Carol); my Dad left our family on 2nd November 1967, my eighth birthday, and the divorce became final by 1969; I think it was Brigitte Bardot who said something about the ‘tremors’ which were felt in the late 60s, but few who had the ‘courage’ to face them, but I can’t seem to find the quote verbatim; we got a bit lost, at first, driving back from west London
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
abandonment & Dad & people wormhole: chartless …
depression wormhole: the both passive and transitive / non-presumptive pre-conceptualist attenuation of being
divorce wormhole: 1967
evening & identity wormhole: sleep now
eyes & life & sound wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – snow
groundlessness & pointlessness wormhole: [once a] dilemminal [always a dilemminal]
Have wormhole: Doctor Strange III – the needs of billions
light wormhole: adjustment
looking wormhole: Clea
others & passing wormhole: passersby
renunciation wormhole: escape from Flat Planet
texture wormhole: zazen
time wormhole: the too big moon
world wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J Redford – Snow
mlewisredford 