dream
career
040712
it was my turn to deliver the talk
the presentation I had been working on all this time
in a newly opened room with a stage and raised seating
a performance room a lecture room the way of the future
for Roan School back in the 1970s
it was my turn to deliver
I had been one of the students
I had been one of the Young Men
I had spent a long time preparing
but I had done it with craft and care and honesty
pencilled blocks of ideas and summary points
scattered on different-sized bits of paper and card
I didn’t really need the notes
my long period of exploration and work
had left me with a simple topic
I started talking about Allen Ginsberg
and had soon spent a long time already on
William Carlos Williams a major influence
the audience didn’t really want to listen
but listened because they were supposed to
– my turn –
I could slightly feel that I was holding
less and less people’s attention
(the way I do after my lessons start at school)
there were one or two technicians moving around
then an administrator and some men in dark polo shirts
moving equipment making it difficult for the audience to focus anyway
there were more and more support workers getting on with something else
the audience started chatting among themselves quietly
eventually there were as many workers as audience
setting something up in preparation need to get everything right
as ‘there was an audience for this’
some of my audience were leaving thinking it had all finished
and all the while I continued delivering my clever and careful construction
eventually I allowed myself to realise
that no one was listening anymore
the preparation for the next event
had completely swallowed the event which was my presentation
mid-sentence I just stopped
gathered up my papers
and wandered out of the dream
no one noticed that I had stopped
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
Allen Ginsberg wormhole: 1958
being wormhole: ‘I should never want for something to write …’
career wormhole: poessay I
doing wormhole: the / Four Noble Truths / on a train
dream wormhole: a written life
teaching wormhole: plaintive // plaintiff? // but not precious
William Carlos Williams wormhole: William Carlos Williams