divergent // direction

Tags

2013, 6*, attention, being, CGI, control, distraction, echo, film, growth, identity, life, movement, naked, nerve, observing, reputation, self-compassion, self-love, sequel, sitting, society, sound, static, thought, waves

                it’s not just the oh-ho naughty thoughts
                that really shouldn’t but burst through
                ta-dha because you can’t stop them yet
                (secretly don’t want to, yet)

                it’s not even the oops echoes and sequels
                of each sprain and twinch that ached
                and deadened a sense of naked self, no
                it’s the thousand little nerves and waves

                the stylish static of the over-working CGI
                that test and flash the Dolby sound before
                the titles roll and the big names appear it’s
                all of that wide wide widescreen that needs

                      the love of incorporation
                      not the surroundsound of
                      stereo or the left and right
                      eyes watching in divergent

                      direction

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

attention & distraction & sitting & society & sound wormhole: nevertheless
being wormhole: facing the crime section
echo & life wormhole: the quiet whale
film wormhole: spit / spot
identity wormhole: written relief to / creeping anaesthesia / through palimpsest / and crankled page
thought wormhole: Virginia
waves wormhole: do I

 

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a little bit of love / and muffle

Tags

2013, attention, growth, identity, journey, letting go, life, poem, self-love, smile, talking to myself, taste, writing

 

 

 

                           write down the awkward things
                           or the bland things or the numbly
                           unconnected things and then

                           probe into their distaste
                           with just a little bit of love
                           and muffle and complete

                           the poem, the journey made and tasted
                           the inhibition breached and all
                           gathered together into smile

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

attention wormhole: bookmark
identity & life & talking to myself wormhole: quite … / … yet – poewieview #12
letting go wormhole: and then just stop
smile & writing wormhole: really

 

practice

Tags

2013, awareness, doing, emptiness, practice, self-love, simplicity, tragedy, vindication

 

 

 

                                              practice

                                to simply
                do things, simple things,
                                simply

                                by touching the vindication
                                              the betrayal
                                the plaint the tragedy
                as rainbow and see-through as they may be –
                                there

                each one
                                of them both
                                              pretty and
                                                              nothing

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: sitting
doing wormhole: CV
emptiness wormhole: nothing // matters
practice wormhole: just saying, is all V: // … systematic and consistent disempowerment
vindication wormhole: prayer to my self

 

fantasia

Tags

2011, childhood, context, growth, life, music, self-love, writing

 

 

 

                fantasia

                                what I missed
                                in all the experiences
                                of all my youth

                                while yet plain and
                                growing inert, I now write
                                infused by my own love

                                embellished by my own
                                context so that they
                                release quietly from the

                                feint flat page and move
                                to a shifting orchestral score
                                searching for resolve

                                                              all the while remaining unchanged

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

childhood wormhole: gazing at the night / as my eyes passed the jagged hole / my head disappeared
life wormhole: escape from Flat Planet
music wormhole: Exceat to Cuckmere Haven
writing wormhole: the tangles fall apart

 

the art of sit and follow

Tags

2013, apple, awareness, being, blue, breathing, ceiling, curtains, distraction, finding, floorboards, following, inclusion, journey, mind, self-love, sitting, sound, table, waiting, words, writing

 

 

 

                                              the art of sit and follow

                                when sitting I’ll fail
                                a hundred times from
                                echoes and wonderings
                                that arrest my only true and being
                                until I notice them
                                all with parental eye
                                and slightly more widened arm
                                enough to find me
                                sitting again with
                                thicker flavour and
                                colourful sprinkling
                                of a kind of love

                                with writing
                I may start with the sweet word
                and follow the phrase like an acolyte
                until I fail
                and I will look at the pen-poise
                and breathe the hesitancy
                and let continue gibbering with whatever leaps a-scaling
                to the judder of fridge
                                          freeze stopped
                                only then to notice the flow of the floorboards follow the beam of ceiling
                until I have found                                                                         fall of curtain
                what I was writing for                                                                             edge of table
                                surprised
                                journeyed
                                and aside
                from where I thought I was heading
                                but fresh as a blue apple

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness & sitting wormhole: ambling around / the garden centre
being & breathing & waiting & writing wormhole: before // writing?
blue wormhole: mass
curtains wormhole: oh,
mind wormhole: hot chocolate
sound & table wormhole: library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!
words wormhole: time proceeds

 

relapse

Tags

2015, 6*, ambition, breakdown, childhood, circular poem, creativity, depression, dissolving, doing, doubt, expectation, eyes, heart, history, identity, letting go, life, naïveté, pride, realisation, self, self-love, thinking, time

 

direction of read:

 

 

                                                                               it is amazing
                                         I realise because                            how much
                       again and again before                                             the same old
                     unambiguous heart                                                           ambition can
             to find my naïve and                                                                      cover the
                 again and again                                                                              same old illness
              self and relapse                                                                                    and seem to be
    will have to build my                                                                                        the cure I suppose
  that it isn’t although I                                                                                           I should be grateful
   eventually heartened                                                                                            that I’m not cured
         broken, and then                                                                                             as I thought –
            and I am heart-                                                                                            gives me something
   virtuous was despite                                                                                             more for pride
    I thought everything                                                                                          to relinquish
       creative was despite                                                                                      and love to
          I thought everything                                                                                dissipate leaving
               was always despite                                                                          the cure ready-
                      I thought the cure                                                                 prescribed and
                              but for the doubt;                                                   dosed – a self-healed
                             slightly arched brows –                                 man without edges
                                                 without history and

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

breakdown wormhole: right to be
childhood wormhole: just words wiped across a line
circular poem wormhole: a known from without the unknown
creativity wormhole: sometimes
depression wormhole: anti-depressants
doing & identity wormhole: un … able
eyes wormhole: Dr Strange VI – to hold my face to the world
history wormhole: 1959 –– MANHATTAN –– 2012
letting go wormhole: I need to keep my eyes open / in meditation
life & thinking wormhole: step
naïveté wormhole: scattered
realisation wormhole: gently straighten
time wormhole: the edge has come …