The Passage of the St. Gothard, 1804

Tags

1804, 2018, 6*, ambition, being, clouds, doing, emptiness, feet, height, identity, leaning, path, power, realisation, space, step, striving, William Turner

                this hideous gulf
                I step into, the path

                kept too tight to the
                bulgeoning sides

                urging my center
                of balance out from

                my picky feet; out here,
                I see that now;

                futher up, that I’ll
                never make, the heights

                of terrible summit
                commit unspeakable act,

                leaning to void,
                becoming cloud

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & identity wormhole: to let be
clouds wormhole: SPRING AND ALL I by William Carlos Williams
emptiness wormhole: you
feet wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J. Redford – With Pigs
path wormhole: the balance necessary between
power wormhole: What You Are by Roger McGough
realisation wormhole: despite that
space wormhole: ‘streetsigns …’
striving wormhole: the both passive and transitive / non-presumptive pre-conceptualist attenuation of being

 

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the both passive and transitive / non-presumptive pre-conceptualist attenuation of being

Tags

2014, being, cognisance, conception, courage, creativity, depression, doing, emptiness, equanimity, event, flow, heart, heartbeat, hesitancy, honour, key, life, line, meaning, no big deal, nothing, openness, page, passive, pointlessness, presumption, sitting, striving, suffering, thought, time, transcendent, transitive, words, writing

 

 

 

                                the both passive and transitive
                non-presumptive pre-conceptualist attenuation of being

                                anxiety across the open page unsure,
                perched on the open line

                                ‘what if I put pen to paper and nothing happens?’
                ‘what if there is nothing but empty page and feint line?’ does not trust

                                that I am alive and cognisant to the heart
                of every beat if I had but the courage to face it,

                                all down through the endless steps of line
                whether there are words on the line

                                that I write in flow, or hesitancy, or not
                and whether they make sense or not

                                and whether my sitting was transcendent
                or not, or not done at all

                                and whether I concave at the pointlessness of activity
                or create the key to all strife and striving, or fail, or get depressed

                                I will continue eventful to evenness
                affording honour to is, and ‘no big deal’ to what is not

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & doing & life & sitting wormhole: Michael Redford: triptych
creativity & pointlessness wormhole: the writing’s on the wall
depression wormhole: Teaching career: much like Monet’s ‘Impression: soleil levant’ or, in the long run, de Chirico’s ‘The Red Tower’
emptiness wormhole: my / superpower
meaning & thought & time & writing wormhole: B le tch l ey P ark
openness wormhole: dash
words wormhole: words tumble like / boulders – poewieview #25

 

just saying, is all IV: // lost

Tags

2013, career, cause and effect, confusion, connection, discussion, doing, ghosts, lost, organic, rhetoric, school, society, striving, work, world

 

 

 

           just saying, is all IV:

                           the world
                           has become
                           so saturated
                           with rhetoric
           that the connection between cause and effect has been lost

                           to strive
                           to put
                           organic
                           discourse
           and action in the world is to put yourself ghostly and confusing to the rhetoric

                           my activity
                           at work
                           was non-
                           rhetorical
           (even a-rhetorical) even though it was not; nonsense

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

career wormhole: 1966 … actually sic // of it allllll-bsssssssh – poewieview #8
doing wormhole: strange / tarnish
ghosts wormhole: truly invisible
school wormhole: ‘the hour before dinner – / the empire of dusk’ – poewieview #6
society wormhole: crease and score of silver-morning sky
striving wormhole: library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!
work wormhole: quick inventory after coffee
world wormhole: organ / sunlight in all our eyes – poewieview #11

 

library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!

Tags

2014, ageing, being, birdsong, books, carpet, compassion, echo, feet, identity, Lewes, library, life, light, listening, notebook, opening, passing, people, reading, red, roof, settling, shadow, sound, striving, study, table, talking, talking to myself, travelling, walking, windows, writing

                library: start where you are IV

                                time to write –
                                but I’ve come
                                to the table

                                wanting to find
                                the same people
                                the same vistas –

                                foreclosed*
                                before I even open
                                the notebook

                                wanting the talk of feet reading
                                and the scent of sigh tired and the
                                stretching in common embrace

                                but instead I have the constant
                                humm of light high up in the varnished
                                rafters the intermittent beep

                                of the drinks machine and
                                the sway of heavy man with step-
                                energy walking up then down the

                                quiet research balcony
                                which I hadn’t been noticing
                                aha; I see, I hear, I, here.

                                the light doesn’t hum
                                it spreads the ubiquitous
                                plum-red carpet with

                                venn shadows from feet
                                from case; that alarm was it
                                regular between key-tap-return and bird-twit

                                has stopped
                                the heavy man went downstairs
                                and I noticed the girders and ties

                                (that such mass can move so decisive
                                 and change without wheel or haul
                                 through all the planes we have riveted

                                 and braced about our life)
                                at last I am settled and
                                my table still empty

                                              I’ve

                                been trying to get
                                from here to there,
                                where there would really

                                make here much better and
                                connect them together,
                                reduce their distance,

                                dissolve any distinction,
                                              I
                                have studied this extensively

                                in all those books, composed it, even;
                all the distance I have travelled!
                                from here to there

                                marking myself wrinkled tired
                                and echoed in my own space
                                              … actually quite nice here, if I let open some windows

 

* this piece is a sequel to [start where you are III] – delve which was quite cute; happened in the same library in the same town, but in entirely different lives

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & writing wormhole: hot chocolate
books & compassion & Lewes & reading & settling & table & talking to myself wormhole: [start where you are III] – delve
carpet wormhole: Trinity Arts
echo wormhole: ‘in the midst of winter …’
feet & identity & sound & travelling wormhole: Totnes
life wormhole: lifetime
light & people & windows wormhole: up here
listening wormhole: purpose
passing & talking wormhole: ‘discution poli / d’orage …’
red wormhole: on the raised patio reading Plath
roof wormhole: prologue-ing
shadow wormhole: the dash is magnificent / the shadow grotesque
striving wormhole: re lax // me
study wormhole: new year’s eve 2014; train up to London to / walk the bridges across the Thames, and / listen to the voices say it is, and was, like, / but get back home before the fireworks / obliterate it all in the emptying twilight
walking wormhole: ambling around / the garden centre

 

re lax // me

Tags

2014, 4*, anxiety, being, doing, identity, practice, relaxing, settling, striving, time

 

 

 

                                          re   lax
                                          in to  d
                                          oing  e
                                          very th
                                          ing  wi
                                          th    no
                                          anxiety
                                          or   stri
                                          ving be
                                          cause t
                                          here  is
                                          only on
                                          e  thing
                                          to do  b
                                          ehind it
                                          all all o
                                          f the  ti
                                                me

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

anxiety wormhole: yet another sprain / of ‘Jingle Bells’ straining / to propagate yet another / tired Christmas spirit – … / ‘sanner clawsis coming t’ taunn – yeah’ in a / coffee shop with condensation / running off the snowflake transfers / and the iphone at the next table / talking how 50 means 900 a month – not worth / the drive (left his scarf behind – / collateral) … about my age
being & striving wormhole: sometimes
doing wormhole: never there
identity wormhole: Plumstead – Woolwich – Plumstead 290508 – / the breath of London
practice wormhole: a light rosé
settling wormhole: thinking wide enough
time wormhole: Dr Strange V – all the words of all the times of all the worlds speak

 

sometimes

Tags

2011, 6*, being, breathing, creativity, expectation, family, grain, happiness, Have, ideas, instinct, living, love, managerialism, music, poetry, reading, relaxation, satisfaction, sitting, striving, teaching, travelling, writing

                                                                                       sometimes

                                                                   writing coagulates but mostly liquefies
                                                                              ideas cog but mostly mutter
                                                                 instinct reveals but mostly forgets
                                                        creation simplifies but mostly details
                                                      happiness relaxes but mostly doesn’t
                                                                love sees but mostly expects
                                             satisfaction grains but mostly emulsions
                                              sitting breathes but mostly strives
                                             teaching turns but mostly gets gridlocked
                                             music tunes but mostly beats
                                    reading travels but mostly zigzags
                                poetry outsides but mostly decorates
                                 family meets but mostly contacts
                             poems finish but mostly never know when to stop

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being wormhole: yet another sprain / of ‘Jingle Bells’ straining / to propagate yet another / tired Christmas spirit – … / ‘sanner clawsis coming t’ taunn – yeah’ in a / coffee shop with condensation / running off the snowflake transfers / and the iphone at the next table / talking how 50 means 900 a month – not worth / the drive (left his scarf behind – / collateral) … about my age
breathing wormhole: tong // len
creativity & teaching wormhole: irretrievable / breakdown / of marriage
family wormhole: tag cloud poem VII – form new freedom:
Have & living wormhole: 20th century / schzoid man
love wormhole: a gift
managerialism wormhole: poessay IX – … just saying, is all II
music wormhole: ‘the blues shifted …’
poetry wormhole: sunny morning
reading wormhole: I need to keep my eyes open / in meditation
sitting & writing wormhole: ‘hello old friend …’
travelling wormhole: Plumstead – Woolwich 121114

 

no biggie:

Tags

2013, 3*, anxiety, attention, awareness, being, doing, learning, settling, smile, striving, watching

 

 

 

                           learning to
                           recognise the
                           perpetual anxiety
                           of striving
                           in all the
                           voice and step
                           of my being

                           learning to
                           do things easy with a
                           slight smile

                           no biggie:

                           just watching
                           while doing

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

anxiety wormhole: tag cloud poem VI – anyone’s eyes
attention wormhole: the pocket
awareness ormhole: sounds // suddenly / stop
being wormhole: the air of architecture
doing wormhole: posture
learning wormhole: constructalesson
settling wormhole: open window
smile wormhole: the Buddha head in an antique shop

 

dream / career

Tags

2012, 5*, awareness, career, dream, identity, naked, striving, teaching

 

 

 

                                   dream
                                   career

                                   so
                           there I was
                           naked except
                           for my pants
                           in the room

                           had to make it
                           round the room
                           I figured to go
                           right round
                           the room
                           do it properly

                           started off fine
                           became more
                           and more difficult
                           pants caught
                           on something
                           maybe the door

                           but I pushed on
                           turned the
                           support post at
                           far end of the room
                           pants were getting
                           tighter and tighter

                           but I can push on
                           stretched thinner
                           and thinner
                           but I am strong
                           going to cut

                           and then
                           I suddenly realised
                           how ridiculous
                           the room
                           the journey
                           my nakedness
                           my pants –

                           would
                           my pants
                           slice off
                           my legs –

                                   so
                           I stopped
                           and woke up

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: only
career wormhole: I am the / luckiest man alive
dream wormhole: Saturday
identity & teaching wormhole: compromised
striving wormhole: the sea plant

 

the sea plant

Tags

2013, 8*, being, dancing, expression, fingers, living, movement, sea, settling, sitting, striving, sun

 

 

 

                                                the sea plant
                flourishes in water each move and turn
                                held         almost anticipated
                                                m a n i f  e  s  t   e    d
                                                by the curling fronds
                                leaning and doubting
                                                              like a community

                                                it might want
                all the long while to sit on the surface and
                                flower to the sun
                                                to bathe at last in the light
                                                little realising the completeness of each reach
                                like a beautiful dancer
                                                finishing each move with her
                                                                            fingertips

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & settling & sitting & sun wormhole: morning / cloud pass
dancing wormhole: dream 100213
living wormhole: iffyakan / getawaywi`it / you can `ave it
sea wormhole: the bench / on the fourth sister from / Birling Gap before the / wind-brushed scrub and gorse / and the grey-blue sky / smoothed through the / fishtank-blue horizon to / grey-green sea
striving wormhole: covert being

 

covert being

Tags

2011, 5*, acceptance, assessment for learning, being, divorce, friends, growth, identity, love, markbook, striving, talking to myself, writing

 

 

 

not heard
when Dad left not heard
when friends talked about stuff not heard
when I wrote my thoughts not heard
when I argued an essay not heard
when I floated a ‘why not’ not heard
when I constructed markbook not heard
when I integrated AfL not heard
whenever I reach

and yet

cared for when Dad left
valued for my constancy
referred to for my phrasing
recognised for my approach
relied on for my accommodation
trusted for the field I fence
respected for the freedom I release
loved whenever I just am

don’t strive to be heard but trust
in covert being

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

acceptance & talking to myself wormhole: the discovery of / leaving no trace
assessment for learning wormhole: the ghost with open wound
being wormhole: possible
divorce wormhole: the spectre
identity wormhole: have got // can do
love wormhole: Leicester
markbook wormhole: the Mark Redford problem
striving wormhole: walking
writing wormhole: poets do neither report nor / walk around enrapt in transport but / ’tis when in writing their worlds are wrought