walking

Tags

2011, 5*, abdomen, growth, identity, kinhin, pointlessness, Shantideva, striving, talking to myself, walking, zazen

 

 

 

                                walking

I suppose it’s OK
                I haven’t found resolution
                I cannot achieve significance
                but I still exist in the world

                it’s just time I exercised my search
                and practised my expression
                                despite my world
                                my career my family
                which never could – and aren’t there to –
                reflect back my significance

                stand on my own two feet

                you cannot leather the world
                                less so the harder you try to walk –
                                              doesn’t fit keeps slipping off –

                                                              gather in
                                              flex your abdomen
                                and step
                                forward
                                your
                                self

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

abdomen wormhole: my awareness / and growth / are like my abdomen
identity wormhole: poessay V: // writing / as practice while / writing
walking wormhole: gully
Shantideva wormhole: honest
striving wormhole: twisted / pulled / and chipped
talking to myself wormhole: on holiday
zazen wormhole: the writing’s / on the wall

 

twisted / pulled / and chipped

Tags

2012, 6*, furniture shop, realisation, stairs, striving, table, Tunbridge Wells, vindication

 

 

 

                                twisted
                                pulled
                                and chipped

                                a table
                                a desk
                      for my important work
                      for my vindicating work where
                      I will have all my works
                                spread out
                                and organised
                                that’ll show them

                                they don’t listen to me
                                nobody listens to me
                      I’ll lift the table from the top floor
                      to the ground floor
                                myself
                      I am strong I can do it
                                this way

                                missed the
                                last step
                      of the first flight
                                heel caught
                                dip tuck twist
                      hold table shoulderstrong       pulled
                      mouth drops to edge of table
                      front tooth chips from inside drop table
                                sigh sitdown
                      falls three steps side legs wrench off
                                thnNNK

                                feeling the inside
                                of my front tooth
                      sheet of sweat on my brow
                      I stand up and sit down
                      when the black and grey houndstooths
                                appear

                                I knew in a head-down
                                what had happened
                                I knew in a don’tpassout
                      what I had been practising for weeks or months
                                up to this point

                                the very antipathy
                                of what I am trying to be
                                the very stuff
                                I am trying not to be
                                and in that trying
                      compounding the lack of what I truly am
                                twisted
                                pulled
                                and chipped

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

part of … oh
realisation wormhole: I didn’t see it coming
stairs wormhole: phantom / stranger
table wormhole: Woolwich Central – / making life better II
Tunbridge Wells wormhole: sun low / from behind
vindication wormhole: the / pyrrhic / play