ashramas

Tags

2012, 6*, ageing, ashramas, awkward, childhood, children, creativity, identity, inauthentic, lesson, life, love, means, outcome-led education, parent, recognition, role, society, study, talking to myself, teaching, time, vague, value-bled education, wisdom, work

                ashramas

     I was a child vague in society
                only noticed the pretty wrappings of society
     as a teenager I was made awkward by society
                didn’t understand how to make the play

     later I sussed how the play was made
                saw it inauthentic and facile
     as a student I studied alternative to society
                found that there was love – wisdom – creativity

     as a parent I got all grown-up with myself –
                ‘make practical use of my studies’ –
     became a teacher to bring up all my children
                play My Part in the society I despaired of, practical and ends-focussed

     made the mistake to Make me Mark [groan] instead in society:
                influence the means to seek engagement
     to find recognition and found myself
                ignored and unnoticed

                Twenty Five Years

     now I must return to myself ‘these things that
                you and I suppressed’
     carry the wounds as lesson to myself
                whether I continue to work or not, as lesson to me

                love – wisdom – creativity

 

An Ashrama (āśrama) in Hinduism is one of four age-based life stages discussed in ancient and medieval era Indian texts. The four asramas are: Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sannyasa (renunciation). The Ashramas system is one facet of the Dharma concept in Hinduism. (from Wikipedia)

‘these things that you and I suppressed’ is from Joni Mitchell‘s ‘Hejira‘

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

childhood & life & time wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J. Redford – A Precious Moment
creativity wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – the soft canticle of the gourds:
identity & society wormhole: “Darling” – poewieview #28
love & talking to myself wormhole: with endless love
recognition wormhole: bloogying
teaching wormhole: dry rot
work wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – introdepthion

 

true nature

Tags

2016, adult, balance, being, discipline, doing, dwelling, flower, hidden, identity, importance, love, naïveté, nurture, obligation, self, talking to myself, true nature, vague, variation

 

 

 

                                                                true nature

                                   of my personality, true nature
                                   of my self: to be vaguely and
                                   variously focussed on event

                                   mostly missing what is seen
                                   important and dwelling lovingly
                                   with what is hidden in plain view;

                                   since I have become the adult,
                                   as obliged, I have learnt to
                                   override my naïveté with

                                   dead discipline; my naïveté
                                   is a slight flowering of my true
                                   nature, it should be nurtured

                                   in order for ‘my’ to dwell in
                                   my own true true ‘self’ … or
                                   maybe I just haven’t being

                                   my true self all that skilfully?
                                   I haven’t done wrong, I just
                                   haven’t balanced all that well

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

balance wormhole: always
being wormhole: through
doing wormhole: just saying, is all IV: // lost
identity & talking to myself wormhole: and that’s where I are
love wormhole: Quiver of / Tiffany – poewieview #20
naïveté wormhole: because
obligation wormhole: the lines are not that straight / after all

 

first a mishap then clear vision

Tags

'scape, 2014, age, being, career, centrifugal, centripetal, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, circular poem, detail, distraction, doing, elemental, form, glasses, hope, identity, injustice, journey, letting go, life, looking, lost, moment, name, pointlessness, reading, realisation, role, society, tide, time, vague, vulnerable, waves, world, writing

 

 

 

first a mishap then clear vision

                        face it
  let yourself                 there is
 but never                       no point
known it                           no victory
     always                       no justice
  and you’ve                 there never
                          was

                                                        all the effort
                                   again using                           of reading
                        willing to build                                     writing and
                 for the way back                                              accumulation
                 around hopeful                                                   creating hope
                     and looking                                                      of a salvific
                         I am lost                                                       point but it
                        accept that                                                   plateaus ever
                       and I finally                                               as it is made
                             is stumbled                                       and takes in
                                  before a trip                           miles of amble
                                                          and wander

                                                              but

                                              the natural plain of this life’s journey
                                                              is to gaze un
                                attached past the complication and
                                              across the complexity
                                              to see clearly all the detail
                                                              and form in itself
                content to look unfocused and elemental
                                until my age and career
                                required glasses
                                              so that now
                                I react centripetal to the world
                                              that calls my name in shower and wave
                                and I become
                                centrifugal and solidified
                                (vagued and vulnerable) to
                an identity I can never find
                                while the world keeps leaking
                                              and escaping like gas

                                                                                  so

                                                                          (let them all …
                             and no hope of identity                     disperse
                           with no need of hope                              clean into the scene)
 as the energy fans awry and around                                    like a ‘scape until
                                  and slip-slide                                        the next moment
                                                  only                                    which
        and the shift and chirrups of élan                              moves
                                                          just                       both slight and extra
                                            to the roles and tides

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & doing & identity wormhole: ‘I come from the brow …’
career wormhole: what I am about to say is true / what I just said was a lie
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche wormhole: 25% scaffolding & rope
circular poem wormhole: may the supreme and precious jewel bodhichitta … // … take birth where it has not yet done so … // … where it has taken birth may it not decrease … // … but may it increase infinitely
distraction wormhole: tag cloud poem V – draft-ness
glasses wormhole: all the while / the flagpole rope / occasionally flaps / the breeze
letting go wormhole: sounds // suddenly / stop
life & society wormhole: they find their life growing together –
looking wormhole: the retriever the daughter and the mother
pointlessness wormhole: letter 080514
reading & realisation & time wormhole: only the Batman realises that he is dead
waves wormhole: gazing at the night / as my eyes passed the jagged hole / my head disappeared
world wormhole: the declensions of constant possibility throughout times
writing wormhole: too cold to sit outside / and write flowers of / individual poems

 

silent crash // … / after all

Tags

2012, being, breakdown, doing, identity, life, others, pointlessness, realisation, vague

 

 

 

                                                silent crash

                                                                I had taken
                                                on the mantle of
                                                remaining quiet and self-contained
                                                all my life since I was eight and
                                                                I have a feeling
                                                no one really wanted
                                                or benefitted from
                                or even noticed
                                                that I did so

                                                it has been the
                                                vague       way
                                                through which I have defined myself

                                                but it was
                                                                not that
                                                                              necessary …

                                                                              after all

                                                                bit-of-a-facer
                                                                              for someone
                                                                                              I suppose

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & doing & life wormhole: amid
breakdown & identity wormhole: fractured –
others wormhole: vagued
pointlessness wormhole: the meaning is the moment all day long
realisation wormhole: a splash of fresh water

 

vagued

Tags

2012, 2013, 2014, beauty, beguiled, being, biography, childhood, colour, communication, covert, emergence, eyes, identity, landscape, life, naïveté, offer, others, prophecy, role, thought, time, treasure, vague, work

 

 

 

                                vagued when young
                and beguiled by sudden colour all beautiful but the treasure
                                              I never knew
                                              I had

                                I emerged myself
                through the vague I buffed up the sudden-colour unsure
                                              as I defined myself bas-
                                              relief to my work

                                and role – maybe
                I can reveal a treasure maybe this is what I am destined to do –
                                              but they didn’t see it
                                              so I kept it to myself

                                I made the call
                there was no response eleven years twenty five years forty
                                              five years
                                              long

                                a long time
                I have kept all my wonder secret within my eyes / it seeps out at times / exposed but not expressed / still vague still unsure no platform / I cannot lead I cannot prophesy … just / let it be found                      
                                              (it is never found)
                                              (it is sometimes tripped over) … fine

                                but then hubris
                I thought I could – and I did – and I hung all my being on it – the turning point of my biography –
                                              and the bleak landscape
                                              I have found hard to bear

                                I am
                better placed / and better identified / being covert
                                              and not think
                                              I could ever part the seas

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

beauty wormhole: you are in uniform
being wormhole: achieving good-enough living
childhood & emergence & life wormhole: what to do
communication & identity wormhole: plethora: the Dark Knight Strikes Again (2002)
eyes wormhole: gazing at the night / as my eyes passed the jagged hole / my head disappeared
naïveté wormhole: (Little by Little)
others wormhole: the sounds the difficulty and the long long strands of liquorice
thought wormhole: which is worse
time wormhole: prologue
work wormhole: dream / 301197 // home