Tags
1970s, 1998, 2014, 5*, abandonment, cancer, chemo, child, Christmas, Dad, dream, Eglinton Hill, Genesta Road, Hakuin, honesty, Joseph, letter, love, mother, Mum, Oscar Wilde, pain, parent, smile, talking, time, Zen
261298
Dear Mum,
good to talk with you over Christmas
honest and open
I love that even when we don’t meet
we can say we haven’t met to each other
when needed; we had
a good holiday
set everything up and
let it all happen
by itself
some of it was boring
some of it was tinsel-ly
Joe* called it ‘Winterval’
I call it the gift to see like a child; recent dreams
of Eglinton Hill**
still coming to terms with Dad leaving
after all these years … we had all been left
we all had to survive, we all had to move down
from Eglinton Hill to terraced Genesta Road*** –
environment of survival – with the silly talk
and crazy plans of becoming through the 70s
healing comes in smiling on the pain we carry
befriending dis-order to help the heal
with the benign mind it ensues (it is
not the perfect but the imperfect that
is in need of our love said our Oscar****)
you might have
good years left
not cured but
checking the
cancer with
little giggle and
slight hysteric
and you are right:
bugger the dignity
bugger the unfairness and
bugger the chemo
Zen Master Hakuin was accused
of fathering the child – ‘is that so!’
he took care of the child – just so
the mother confessed, the parents
apologised and in yielding back the
child – ‘is that so!’
much love, mark
* eldest son; Mum was a Jehovah’s Witness and abstained from celebrating Christmas even though she loved the season when she was younger; Joe’s comment somewhat echoed the argument that Christmas had been hijacked
** large, semi-detached, Victorian 4-bedroom house where we (my Mum, my brother, my Grandmother and myself) lived up until 1971; no longer able to keep hold of it we had to move down the hill to …
*** … Genesta Road, terraced, 3-bedroom, someone else’s wallpaper on the walls until we could change it ourselves
**** we shared a love of Oscar Wilde’s wit
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
part of the ongoing life and page of … Mum
abandonment wormhole: amid
child & time wormhole: I could step / more open
Christmas wormhole: on
Dad wormhole: ‘“ruddy crows!” / said my Dad …’
dream wormhole: my fidgety self
Eglinton Hill wormhole: tag cloud poem VI – anyone’s eyes
Genesta Road wormhole: letters to mum II – family // like a grate
Joseph wormhole: dream / 140603
love wormhole: happy birthday, my love
mother wormhole: the retriever the daughter and the mother
Mum wormhole: letters to Mum III – ongoing-term // eventually
smile wormhole: Tulips by Sylvia Plath – How Far To Step Before You Raise The Other Foot
talking wormhole: city-centre-coffee-shop / talk
