Tags
2006, 2014, 2015, allowing, being, breathing, death, doing, growth, identity, letter, life, loneliness, love, Mum, reaching, realisation, talking, time, writing
Yesterday was the sixteenth remembrance of my Mum’s death; she was 65. She left nothing as memorial or legacy but the let and allow for worlds of words to fructify …
June 2006
Dear Mum,
we haven’t talked for a long time
because you are no longer here to
hear (… OK), but it gradually
occurs to write to ‘you’ who is
still part of my every inbreath and
ever was for more of those forty
years; but I suppose I write
because I am lonely here being
grown up by myself. I suppose
I am doing a good job – but what
unnecessary reaching to have
arrived so far, always far from
here and old from now and
stranger to who I always was;
you said I was aloof and difficult
to like, and I think I realise now
that I ever was and still am, but
you always let an allow, wide as
a paddock, and a dash of affection
despite my awkward being and I
think I miss that in life, more, I
keep hoping to find it anywhere
else but it just can not be found,
I am just, and am ever, awkward
and quite unclear to like. And
there it is. Another realisation
to exhale and step forward. Years
after you have gone. Still.
love, Mark
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
allowing wormhole: tag cloud poem II – acceptance
being & breathing & doing & identity & life & realisation wormhole: (another / gulp of air)
death & loneliness wormhole: Desolation Angels
love wormhole: bottom of Herbert Road to the / foot of Eglinton Hill dream
Mum & time wormhole: To my Mum
talking wormhole: dream 260713
writing wormhole: thar she perched
Jilanne Hoffmann said:
I enjoyed your diction in this poem-letter, “you always let an allow,” for example. And I like the extra breaths that you allow at the end, giving you and the reader time to process the new realization. Very nice.
LikeLiked by 2 people
m lewis redford said:
this sort of comment moves my heart: such close reading, such dwelling in the work; such an intimate reading is as valuable a resource to a writer as the right clutch of words; thank you, Jilanne
LikeLiked by 2 people
John said:
Such a beautiful ‘letter’ to your mum …
you know, I’m pretty awkward and tough to like to …
I would have to disagree with one thing you stated, at the beginning … that your mum ‘left nothing as memorial or legacy’ … maybe you’re awkward and unlikeable (anyone who writes such beautiful can’t be *that* unlikable) … but, she did leave a legacy: you. That’s the best legacy of all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
m lewis redford said:
you are so charming: thank you John
LikeLike
Johnny Crabcakes said:
“the let and allow for worlds of words to fructify …”
Such beauty here. And fructify they do. Right here.
Every time I go sliding down the wormholes I am renewed in my grave little prayers and reminded that however little time I may have to throw at it, it is worth it and I am reinvigorated and renewed in my efforts to find the everyday sublime and reminded that I just need to stop looking so hard for it.
This little trip of mine today has born more fruit than I can thank you for.
Shoot me your address and I shall drop whole wallops of affection into the post to you.
LikeLike
m lewis redford said:
Now, the thing is, you are my ONLY wormhole … skater (? no, that don’t sound right; worm-RIDER, like in ‘Dune’?, nope, still not it … got it) … you are my only WORM (agh, don’t sound so grand for the wonderful gift to my work you bring by travelling the arteries – oxygen to my ventricles)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Johnny Crabcakes said:
Hmph. Well. I shall have to see what can be done about that. On both counts. Others must surely be made aware of the Wonder Of The Wormholes!
And….hmmm….a proper title for such a one…..hmmmm…..
LikeLike
Johnny Crabcakes said:
And now, here, as they say all paths do, these wormholes come back together.
Just no getting away from Life and Identity….all Part and Parcel…
LikeLike
m lewis redford said:
time to raise the flag, methinks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Johnny Crabcakes said:
Surrender?!?!
I, suh?!
Suh-Renduh?
Nev-Uh!
LikeLike