I keep / waiting to be discovered and get lost in anticipation

Tags

2013, 5*, anticipation, belonging, books, cleaning, courage, identity, letting go, living, lost, recognition, sitting, space, voices, waiting, world

                I wanted to clean out the meditation room
                to help clear my sitting of voices

                I wanted to bring my books into the house
                to integrate myself into living

                the snag was, and always is, to think
                that there is space in the world for my voices to belong

                rather than the courage to let them all go: I keep
                waiting to be discovered and get lost in anticipation

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

books wormhole: St. Mark’s flies flagpole upwards / with the forelegs hanging down obscene / reaching some height blindly to connect / out from the long-stalk tri-separating up- / to-seeded rounds of pod like acacia what / is it called “‘hogweed’ I-don’t-know- / what-it’s-called-but-goats-love-it-and- / it-makes-them-burp-a-lot”
identity & sitting wormhole: time
letting go & living wormhole: make your rickety / constructs strong with / unbending grids / of attention and wide- / open grates of let
recognition wormhole: slow enough / to have love
space wormhole: so pleased to see you again
voices wormhole: municipal garden
waiting wormhole: St. Edmund’s / Parish Church / Castleton
world wormhole: stone

 

St. Mark’s flies flagpole upwards / with the forelegs hanging down obscene / reaching some height blindly to connect / out from the long-stalk tri-separating up- / to-seeded rounds of pod like acacia what / is it called “‘hogweed’ I-don’t-know- / what-it’s-called-but-goats-love-it-and- / it-makes-them-burp-a-lot”

Tags

'scape, 2013, 8*, age, being, blindness, blue, books, breeze, Carol, contrapuntal, Derbyshire, flies, flying, grass, hill, mating, plants, seeds, shelf, speech, stone

                St. Mark’s flies flagpole upwards
                with the forelegs hanging down obscene
                reaching some height blindly to connect
                out from the long-stalk tri-separating up-
                to-seeded rounds of pod like acacia what
                is it called “‘hogweed’ I-don’t-know-
                what-it’s-called-but-goats-love-it-and-
                it-makes-them-burp-a-lot”

                stones like grouped books on a shelf
                some fat enough to stand upright by themselves
                some leaning
                some fat ones leaning anyway
                with twisted spine

                various stalks of dried grasses
                reach slightly arthritic and
                inflexible in the breeze
                their seeds spent but ragged contrapuntal

                to the distant hill risen
                too old to read
                too stone-blue to talk with
                there and always there
                and only there by its lone and ever self

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & breeze wormhole: lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light
blue wormhole: St. Edmund’s / Parish Church / Castleton
books wormhole: through the pane – poewieview #34
Carol wormhole: ‘quick – she’s gone to pay …’
grass wormhole: prospect
speech wormhole: municipal garden
stone wormhole: prelude: // travel

 

through the pane – poewieview #34

Tags

1971, 2016, 5*, afternoon, being, books, Bowie, death, doing, friends, green, life, listening, looking, love, pipes, questions, quiet, sky, square, stain, step, streets, time, Victorian houses, windows

          spikes in constant
          exchange through the pane
          try in vain to
          puncture the sky; sky

          rising
          but – what – shall – I –
          be; steps upwards, steps
          aside, but – what – is – going – on

          look-away-
          turn-head-to-friend –
          check, with love –
          look-back

          shall I leaf the books,
          shall I lengthen the wick,
          interrogate streets, but –
          will – the – streets – listen …

          exiting languidly in the late green afternoon
          amongst the pipes, back windows and
          soot-stained Victorian houses all about
          the lonely square

 

peered through Eight Line Poem & Changes, 1971, after January 10th 2016

Read the collected movements in David Bowie: Movements in Suite Major

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

afternoon & Bowie & looking wormhole: weight of high sash windows – poewieview #33
being wormhole: travel
books wormhole: Life on Mars? – poewieview #31
death wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] by Mark L. Redford – the soft canticle of the gourds:
doing & windows wormhole: languidly close the portal
green wormhole: fresh destiny
life wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J Redford – Safe Home
listening wormhole: my seat // now
love wormhole: listen willya
sky wormhole: passing skies
streets wormhole: coagulating
time wormhole: hello, luvvey, do you want a cup of tea?
Victorian houses wormhole: opening

 

Life on Mars? – poewieview #31

Tags

1991, 5*, afternoon, books, Bowie, cars, life, Mars, silence, silver, streets, Sunday, Woolworth's

                                                                      Life on Mars?

                                   silent afternoon silver atmosphere
                                   silver cars on the street

                                   in Woolworth’s the books
                                   slide quietly off the shelves

 

Sunday afternoons – Life on Mars?

Read the collected movements in David Bowie: Movements in Suite Major

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

afternoon wormhole: The Boats of Vallesneria by Michael J. Redford – Autumn Thoughts
books wormhole: nothing to write
Bowie & life wormhole: carpet worn / to the backing – poewieview #30
cars wormhole: my seat // now
silence & silver wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] by Mark L. Redford – moment
streets wormhole: El Palacio, 1946
Sunday wormhole: Sunday afternoon

 

nothing to write

Tags

2014, Ashdown Forest, being, between, books, Bowie, breakdown, breathing, Dionne Warwick, holiday, New York, reading, realisation, San Francisco, work, writing

                           nothing to write

                           time off between work
                                and holiday
                           between breakthrough
                                and breakdown
                           between in-breath
                                and out-breath

                           stuck between reading
                                several books
                           stuck between Bowie
                                and Warwick
                           stuck between the ruts
                                of Ashdown Forest
                                now that it is dry
                           always stuck between New York
                                and San Francisco
                           not knowing which way to turn

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Ashdown Forest wormhole: I survived
being wormhole: the sounds of 1969 // [would have] seemed that way – poewieview #13
books wormhole: Grizedale College
Bowie wormhole: where the goblins leered – poewieview #14
breakdown wormhole: the MagOO Effect Effect
breathing wormhole: gentle
Dionne Warwick wormhole: 1963
holiday wormhole: ‘green plum jam on rye …’
reading wormhole: bookmark
realisation wormhole: the warp and the plumbing
work wormhole: seventy two, perhaps – poewieview #9
writing wormhole: a little bit of love / and muffle

 

Grizedale College

Tags

1980, bed, books, breeze, girl, Lancaster, love, muse, open, passing, reggae, searching, university, windows, young

 

 

 

                                   Grizedale College

                                   she came back
                                   with a shy new lover
                                   so he left her room
                                   to browse another day;

                                   the bed under the open
                                   window, the breeze
                                   the sheets the rearranged
                                   books under the poster

                                   and the old reggae record
                                   she’d forgotten she had
                                   that had been left playing
                                   quietly respectfully

 

oh, the bittersweet mourn for what might ever verge on opening up, which was beautiful-enough to pursue but nevertheless everly crepuscular

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

books wormhole: Hotel Room, 1931
breeze wormhole: the / very gradual art of sitting
girl & muse wormhole: train journey // like a branch
love & passing wormhole: 1966 … actually sic // of it allllll-bsssssssh – poewieview #8
open wormhole: the open window
searching wormhole: that comicbookshop in dreams,
university wormhole: footfall
windows wormhole: London Hearts – poewieview #4

 

Hotel Room, 1931

Tags

1931, 2015, books, Edward Hopper, evening, hotel, identity, life, lifetimes, light, night, time, wind, woman, years

 

 

 

                                but then it was a further
                                two years until she found

                                herself half dressed between
                                lifetimes marked between the

                                pages of a book found in the
                                Hotel Room, in 1931, so long

                                since the promise of the evening
                                wind ten years earlier when she

                                could stand to have the lights
                                out

 

third of a triptych (1. Automat, 1927 – held, 2. Chop Suey, 1929) tucked quietly within an anterior quadriptych

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

books wormhole: com- / mute
Edward Hopper & light & time & years wormhole: Chop Suey, 1929
evening wormhole: Automat, 1927 – held
hotel wormhole: the endless acts of life
identity wormhole: grrr
life wormhole: we play / the game
lifetimes wormhole: de Boeddha // of light
night wormhole: sit
wind wormhole: Le Pont des Arts, 1907
woman wormhole: Compartment C, Car 193, 1938

 

com- / mute

Tags

'scape, 2013, blue, books, bridge, buildings, clouds, coffee, communication, crane, East Croydon, Euston, eyes, horizon, houses, light, London, London Bridge, marble, movement, music, others, passing, people, piano, rainbow, reading, shadow, sky, sleep, sound, sun, train, travelling, trees, Uckfield-London line, windows, winter, woman

 

 

 

                                com-
                                mute

                      low cloud
                      covering the sun in blue sky
                      keeping pace with the train over
                      commuterland people waiting

                      to start their day in houses
                      casting variously rhomboid
                      from the sun as the clouds drift I
                      close my eyes from the sun

                      intense flick through membrane
                      colouring the whole spectrum some
                      tie-dyed and contrasted
                      through bare trees

                      at East Croydon tower-blocks
                      distance-high stand
                      still on various unknown horizons flanked
                      with light and shadow

                      the train fills some stand
                      still and yawn by the door all look
                      down unless asleep
                      one sits next to me reading a book for women

                      leading people at London Bridge
                      I lose the thread amid marble frontage
                      and high filigree window and cranes
                      at Euston a court of coffee

                      and circular chords
                      suggesting upward spirals
                      at the bridge and occasional
                      piano plinks            possibly

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

blue wormhole: hungry for a thread or two
books & music wormhole: sit
bridge wormhole: Le Pont des Arts, 1907
buildings & passing & sky & sun wormhole: 2 pm
clouds & trees wormhole: all along the blue sky
coffee wormhole: ‘filtered coffee …’
communication & shadow wormhole: Western Motel, 1957
crane wormhole: … back to the outbreath
eyes wormhole: mauve / night
horizon wormhole: sooner or later
houses wormhole: Sunday afternoon
light & London & sound & windowswormhole: south horizon
others wormhole: [s]
people wormhole: New York Movie, 1939
piano wormhole: bass and piano
reading wormhole: like butterflies on / buddleia
sleep wormhole: Morning in a City, 1944
train wormhole: the continental stride of trains
travelling wormhole: training the mind
Uckfield-London line wormhole: Eridge – Cowden
winter wormhole: ‘in the midst of winter …’

 

sit

Tags

2010, abandonment, ageing, Batman, bedroom, being, biography, birthday, books, border, branches, cape, carpet, cars, Catcher in the Rye, childhood, children, comics, compassion, counting, cowl, crying, Dad, divorce, father, flower, fog, fracture, French, green, guru, history, house, identity, image, leaf, life, living room, lyric, marriage, moonlight, Mum, music, night, numbers, parents, pattern, planets, posture, power, Salinger, self-compassion, sentient beings, settee, shadow, sitting, skyline, speech, stone, sunlight, superhero, Superman, surrealism, talking to myself, teaching, wife, world, writing, yin yang

 

 

 

                           I stared at the pattern of the carpet
                           driving my cars behind the settee
                           while my parents said final things
                           to each other; the twirl of the branches

                           a better life, the curl of a flower;
                           you’d better go, the border; and
                           never step back in this house again,
                           the shadow of the leaf is also a

                           darker green; I had never studied
                           the pattern before – never had to,
                           never could – I can work it out now,
                           see how it repeats; I think something

                           is happening with Mum and Dad
                           on the other side of the settee; but
                           this pattern continues around the
                           whole carpet, around the whole room;

                           only later – in bed – is it announced
                           what I had already known, and only
                           then could I ask why does it have to
                           happen to us and cry; only when it

                           was announced, only when it was
                           expressed; I had already known
                           but I could only count the patterns,
                           I could only drive the cars; and

                           as I cried, I was numb – pattern
                           before settee – I could fracture
                           from the world, just find a pattern;
                           you’re the man of the house now,

                           someone said to me, so I studied
                           the pages of comicbooks – patterns
                           of power, solving under cowl,
                           jumping under cape, between the

                           skyline and the world: I shall
                           throw stones high, until they
                           don’t come down; I shall dig so low
                           that no one could follow, no;

                           I shall count all numbers; I shall
                           collect all numbers; I shall
                           discover all planets; I shall adopt
                           the posture of heroes, no; I shall

                           number the histories; I shall weave
                           the texture of music; I shall taste
                           the shock of lyric; I shall smell
                           the books, no; I shall sunlight

                           the chorus; I shall cry the biography;
                           I shall see the image, and write them
                           into existence, yes; I shall follow
                           the curl and the twist and the twirl

                           under moonlight all the night long;
                           then, I shall play catch in the rye;
                           I shall alors les boulevards; I shall
                           yin the old yang; I shall surreal in

                           the fog; I shall honour my guru
                           I shall marry my wife; I shall father
                           my children; I shall teach in those classes –
                           but forty two years on, he had still

                           just left; and I still didn’t know how
                           to be the man; time to get out from
                           behind the settee, take a seat with
                           all the others, and
                                                  just
                                                  sit there with them all awhile

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

abandonment & divorce wormhole: … back to the outbreath
Batman wormhole: zok! and pow!
bedroom & Dad wormhole: 1959 –– MANHATTAN –– 2012
being & identity & talking to myself & world & writing wormhole: out!
books wormhole: library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!
branches wormhole: Exceat to Cuckmere Haven
carpet wormhole: Ashdown Forest / 080213 14:47
cars wormhole: after all?
childhood & music wormhole: fantasia
comics wormhole: Detective Comics #345
compassion wormhole: de Boeddha // of light
father wormhole: sight / seeing
fog wormhole: my life / of others
green wormhole: three musicians
history wormhole: Brugges April 2015 – looking lost
house wormhole: House by the Railroad, 1925
life & speech wormhole: “write, let’s break outta here!”
living room wormhole: Woolwich Central – making life better II
Mum wormhole: dream 230315
night wormhole: mauve / night
posture & sitting & superhero wormhole: exactly equal
power wormhole: the continental stride of trains
shadow & teaching wormhole: … anymore
skyline wormhole: The Louvre in a Thunderstorm, 1909
stone wormhole: Evening Wind, 1921
Superman wormhole: escape from Flat Planet

 

library: start where you are IV // all the distance I have travelled!

Tags

2014, ageing, being, birdsong, books, carpet, compassion, echo, feet, identity, Lewes, library, life, light, listening, notebook, opening, passing, people, reading, red, roof, settling, shadow, sound, striving, study, table, talking, talking to myself, travelling, walking, windows, writing

 

 

 

                library: start where you are IV

                                time to write –
                                but I’ve come
                                to the table

                                wanting to find
                                the same people
                                the same vistas –

                                foreclosed*
                                before I even open
                                the notebook

                                wanting the talk of feet reading
                                and the scent of sigh tired and the
                                stretching in common embrace

                                but instead I have the constant
                                humm of light high up in the varnished
                                rafters the intermittent beep

                                of the drinks machine and
                                the sway of heavy man with step-
                                energy walking up then down the

                                quiet research balcony
                                which I hadn’t been noticing
                                aha; I see, I hear, I, here.

                                the light doesn’t hum
                                it spreads the ubiquitous
                                plum-red carpet with

                                venn shadows from feet
                                from case; that alarm was it
                                regular between key-tap-return and bird-twit

                                has stopped
                                the heavy man went downstairs
                                and I noticed the girders and ties

                                (that such mass can move so decisive
                                 and change without wheel or haul
                                 through all the planes we have riveted

                                 and braced about our life)
                                at last I am settled and
                                my table still empty

                                              I’ve

                                been trying to get
                                from here to there,
                                where there would really

                                make here much better and
                                connect them together,
                                reduce their distance,

                                dissolve any distinction,
                                              I
                                have studied this extensively

                                in all those books, composed it, even;
                all the distance I have travelled!
                                from here to there

                                marking myself wrinkled tired
                                and echoed in my own space
                                              … actually quite nice here, if I let open some windows

 

* this piece is a sequel to [start where you are III] – delve which was quite cute; happened in the same library in the same town, but in entirely different lives

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & writing wormhole: hot chocolate
books & compassion & reading & settling & table & talking to myself wormhole: [start where you are III] – delve
carpet wormhole: Trinity Arts
echo wormhole: ‘in the midst of winter …’
feet & identity & sound & travelling wormhole: Totnes
life wormhole: lifetime
light & people & windows wormhole: up here
listening wormhole: purpose
passing & talking wormhole: ‘discution poli / d’orage …’
red wormhole: on the raised patio reading Plath
roof wormhole: prologue-ing
shadow wormhole: the dash is magnificent / the shadow grotesque
striving wormhole: re lax // me
study wormhole: new year’s eve 2014; train up to London to / walk the bridges across the Thames, and / listen to the voices say it is, and was, like, / but get back home before the fireworks / obliterate it all in the emptying twilight
walking wormhole: ambling around / the garden centre