written relief to / creeping anaesthesia / through palimpsest / and crankled page

Tags

2013, 6*, being, buying, centre, consumerism, driving, Have, identity, living, page, passing, progress, self, texture, travelling, writing

                written relief to
                creeping anaesthesia
                through palimpsest
                and crankled page

                driving soaks you into
                the process of passing
                inexorable to progress
                oblivious to a      centre

                here comes a service station
                let me choose a centre to buy
                inevitable to consume and then
                obliged to define myself     through

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being wormhole: St. Mark’s flies flagpole upwards / with the forelegs hanging down obscene / reaching some height blindly to connect / out from the long-stalk tri-separating up- / to-seeded rounds of pod like acacia what / is it called “‘hogweed’ I-don’t-know- / what-it’s-called-but-goats-love-it-and- / it-makes-them-burp-a-lot”
Have wormhole: 20th century
identity wormhole: wakeoutofadream
living wormhole: lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light
passing wormhole: municipal garden
travelling wormhole: too much in arrival
writing wormhole: landscape of cloud over London / with differing depths of grey

 

prelude: // travel

Tags

2013, 6*, acceptance, castle, coffee, compassion, doing, driving, dust, field, green, Have, mist, motorway, passing, people, progress, self-compassion, sky, steel, stone, sunlight, tarmac, travelling, waking, wood

                                prelude:

                had a day to myself
                no work to do no family no obligation
                I could have built myself a castle stony to the sky
                but I did nothing to make my mark in the world
                nothing to house
                the sky

                and I felt strangely accepting of that
                a sort-of love really

                                travel

                woke-up stupid lack-slept
                but I have a certain love for myself
                and I get on with last-minute packing

                people, slaves in so many ways to Have
                but I have a certain love for myself
                and can accept us all to suffer our own coffees

                there is steel in all the greens and mist in all the sunlight
                the harvester shaves the field to dust and someone
                burns the wood to waft across the motorway

                but I have a certain love for myself and
                I let them all pass and while the rubber turns
                the tarmac I progress to a destination

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

acceptance & sky wormhole: stone
coffee wormhole: magnificent salad
compassion wormhole: so pleased to see you again
doing wormhole: wasted –
field & green wormhole: greedy
Have wormhole: beepbeep
mist wormhole: retirement
motorway wormhole: dawn
passing & travelling wormhole: handsome
people wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – agricultural show
stone wormhole: Salisbury Cathedral // suspended in everything
wood wormhole: the 19th century

 

wakeoutofadream

Tags

2013, 6*, career, circular poem, contentment, CPD, defensive, defining, dream, freedom, gap, history, identity, KUE, lesson observation, loneliness, measure, process, professionalism, propaganda, sitting, stillness, struggle, teaching, time, true nature, waking

                                                                                wakeoutofadream
                       both content and free                            where I struggle
                   that is your true self                                         to take the measure
      and inhabit the loneliness                                              of the class I track and train
               and go with neither                                                  brilliant to my design
between define and defend                                                      and told upon inspection
           (nothing to stand on)                                                      I should be engineering them
                        to find the gap                                                   by process
to history or the propaganda                                                and should have been
   moving neither left nor right                                         for years now
                                   keep your seat                            what have I been doing?
                                                              just

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

career & identity wormhole: weight
circular poem: no / thing
dream wormhole: that comicbookshop … // … in dreams
history wormhole: cut while you’re ahead/cut while you’re a thread – poewieview #35
loneliness wormhole: lonely and free
professionalism wormhole: retirement
sitting wormhole: bud
stillness wormhole: still
teaching wormhole: Virginia
time wormhole: Salisbury Cathedral // suspended in everything

 

brown corduroy shirt / and dark redwine tie

Tags

2017, 6*, breath, brown, eyes, hair, identity, life, neck, nose, portrait, red, retirement, shirt, tie, Virginia Woolf, writing

                                brown corduroy shirt
and dark redwine tie

                finding Virginia
                                              young before gathered and drapèd hair
                                              over enquiring philtrum
                old where sternomastoids meet
                below the whole larynx readying to write properly
                                              and hooded eyes half closed to stolidity
                                                              half open to breath

 

 

read the whole sequence: in and out / the Avebury stones / can’t seem to get / a signal …; I bought myself some new shirts with the no-blame severance pay I accepted to make it all stop – one of the shirts is a mid-brown corduroy that naps a darker brown when stroked because it hasn’t washed worn yet; the tie I bought from a charity shop before I even started teaching – deep burgundy red, slim and tonic in the light; I have been meaning to get in to Virginia Woolf for quite some time, but the afternoon light of the parlour has never been quite right; am I pathetic: oh yes, but at least I can write about it; Carol likes to travel as an instinctive way to comb-through the threads of career and life; we planned a trip to the stones in Wiltshire started with the Avebury stones …

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

breath wormhole: and smile / like a bud
brown wormhole: occa / s / i // o / n / a // l // l // y
eyes wormhole: darkness
hair wormhole: handsome
identity wormhole: bud
life wormhole: somewhere
red wormhole: love and precision
retirement wormhole: retirement
writing wormhole: no / thing

 

bud

Tags

2013, 6*, budding, colour, doing, identity, non-doing, sitting, smile, superhero

                                              bud

                there is nothing that I do that is important –
                                that I do it, that it be done at all, that I do it well
                                              or heroically –

                                but that I do any of it
                                              with all the filament colours
                                                              of a slight smile

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

doing & superhero wormhole: where it has taken birth / may it not decrease …
identity wormhole: seen but not heard
sitting wormhole: breathing
smile wormhole: retirement

 

redundant

Tags

2013, 6*, achievement, answers, awareness, being, letting go, questioning, quote, thinking, writing

                                              the penultimate
                page of this notebook, do I fill it up
                                in order to let there be

                                              no waste
                or do I leave it bare because that’s where
                                I finished anyway

                                              to almost-
                full or fallen-short, achieved or not
                                achieved, that

                                              is the question,
                whether thinking makes it so or not
                                is the answer,

                                              but that
                awareness accompanies all            and
                                the writing

                                              of it
                makes either – to be or not to be –
                                redundant

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: passing below
being wormhole: where it has taken birth / may it not decrease …
letting go wormhole: reading // unstirred
thinking wormhole: was there a moon / on the alleyway wall / confused in front of / the city skyline?
writing wormhole: handsome

 

singsong chant

Tags

2015, 6*, being, bracken, child, communication, elder, father, footsteps, Herst Henge, Herstmonceux Castle, knowledge, love, questions, reading, singing, sitting, talking, voices, walking

                the young father walked the
                daughter up the avenue between

                the bracken and elder, her
                singsong chant powering her

                useless steps to Herst Henge;
                he speaks in cast-off phrases,

                kindly and patient, he knows
                of the circle without reading

                the board, he sits with no need
                of revitalisation, while the

                daughter wanders about hap-
                hazardly asking questions

 

third of four of the triptych; still at Herstmonceux Castle, in the grounds; here is a little something about Herst Henge if you happen to be a little daughter tromping up a grassy hill by a castle; and, yes, these three are hinged together … but they keep falling apart again, they might need something else to fasten them …

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

being & communication & talking wormhole: the // orange rose
child wormhole: child
father wormhole: to allow / passage
knowledge wormhole: poessay III: jijimuge
love wormhole: so pleased to see you again
reading wormhole: reading // unstirred
sitting & voices wormhole: may the supreme and precious jewel bodhichitta … // … take birth where it has not yet done so … // … where it has taken birth may it not decrease … // … but may it increase infinitely
walking wormhole: occa / s / i // o / n / a // l // l // y

 

child

Tags

2017, 6*, becoming, Bodhisattvacharyavatara, Buddha, child, samsara, Shantideva, trees

                     child

                     magnificent beings stepped
                     between the trees and undergrowth

                     time and again with beautiful
                     robes and hems of rare design

                     calling for lost ones to come gather
                     but I remained hidden, sure

                     I could remember the way
                     to them catch up later and

                     surprise them all tadaa … when
                     I can move from this

                     hollow tree I excitedly found … and
                     have become

 

Bodhisattvacharyavatara, III 13-14

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

Buddha wormhole: out!
child wormhole: ah … // oh … // meanwhile … // … // tha ya ta …
samsara wormhole: the purple mist between
trees wormhole: faintly apricot air?

 

reading // unstirred

Tags

2011, 6*, dissolving, growth, homoeopathy, letting go, reading, study, teaching, university, words, world

reading

haven’t got the energy to study anymore
university and teaching knocked that out of me
feels unwholesome now
over-eating
over-chewing

                far better now
                to read without trace without
                wholesale shopping and let the worlds*
                flavour my mind homoeopathically the way
                I would always have preferred but that now
                I can just let dissolve like cordial in water

                                                                                 unstirred

 

* sic

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

letting go wormhole: may the supreme and precious jewel bodhichitta … // … take birth where it has not yet done so … // … where it has taken birth may it not decrease … // … but may it increase infinitely
reading wormhole: Granada and other poems … continued
study wormhole: ashramas
teaching wormhole: while
university wormhole: Grizedale College
words & world wormhole: south horizon

 

transmuted

Tags

2017, 6*, Bodhisattvacharyavatara, Chenrezig, compassion, kleshas, Manjushri, purification, reaching, Shantideva, stone, transmutation, true nature, wisdom

                test the stone:
                where granular
                where sharp
                how weighty
                when peaked
                where settled

                take the cold
                chisel offered
                here offered
                there suspend
                the mallet
                and swing its ready weight

                then shuck the
                cap and scallop
                the flank and
                chip the eye to
                smooth the
                look then cut

                the reach and
                crack the step
                and round
                the corner to
                ripple the abs
                then clear the

                dust to stand
                resplendent
                reaching with a thousand arms
                or sitting
                tight with bristling sword
                transmuted

 

 

Bodhisattacharyavatara by Shantideva, I-10:nothing lost; everything gained

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

compassion wormhole: moment
Shantideva wormhole: writing: // in turn
stone wormhole: embodying