letting them go

Tags

2017, 6*, attention, awareness, b/w, blues, branches, chords, comics, doors, guitar, identity, improvisation, laziness, letting go, life, living, morning, mouth, notice, passing, perspective, retirement, sound, talking to myself, twilight, world, writing

                I used to be lazy and cast wide
                with absently open mouth
                greedy to capture every
                snippet of notice to write:

                finding the secret doorway
                in the b/w reprint vista
                that will be the perspective
                with which I will return, noticed

                finding the lingering trill
                and the shifted-chord refrain
                across the neck of my guitar
                inexorable in-tangent flight

                finding new twilight between
                turning bare branches in which
                to pace the following
                mornings in strange new worlds;

                but it was a laziness difficult
                to maintain, this finding of access
                through letting them go …
                into awareness – much more alive

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

attention & identity wormhole: to arms, then;
awareness wormhole: loss
branches wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J. Redford – Making Hay
comics & mouth wormhole: 1964
doors & life & retirement wormhole: lost the search
guitar wormhole: animus rises – powieview #37
letting go wormhole: chuckling
living wormhole: and ‘naerrgh’ a mention of a seagull’s call
morning wormhole: abandoned sound mirrors
passing & sound wormhole: cross-section
talking to myself & writing wormhole: oh, alright then
twilight wormhole: without any buffet at all
world wormhole: ‘when travelling astrally …’

 

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loss

Tags

2016, 5*, awareness, Birmingham, Bowie, computer games, falling, identity, loss, naked, standing, streets, walking

                “I

                stumble in to town …” on
                endless streets of paviour

                I didn’t notice a kerb and fell
                like an army unit from the

                23rd century, self-contained
                but waiting to rise

                once a cognitive-scan is completed,
                yet it revolves without completion,

                `cannot get a lock, so I stand
                without co-ordinate, beguiled

                by logo-lettering of all regard
                and stagger around with naked physique

                dressed for none to see
                to cover my loss

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: ‘still …’
Bowie wormhole: south horizon
identity wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J Redford – Working
streets wormhole: snapshots about Totnes
walking wormhole: out

 

‘still …’

Tags

2016, 3*, awareness, balance, being, doing, living, practice

                still
                   the balance is not
                       right,    but

                I mustn’t be
                   unbalanced
                       in recognising it

                and trying
                   to        practise
                       balance

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: for / the first time
balance wormhole: in the Java ‘n’ Jazz
being wormhole: before any writing
doing wormhole: looking back over the tack / and jibe of my life I / notice there is / a fetch // after all … / but certainly not / where I had planned / or where I thought / I’d been
living wormhole: Christmas 2015
practice wormhole: amid

 

for / the first time

Tags

2015, 4*, awareness, cream, facade, grey, hearing, housing estate, open, rain, reading, realisation, thought, time, windows

                it just rained,
                I heard it through
                the open window,

                the washing’s on
                the line, ah, let it
                stay; the rain

                stopped, I just
                realised looking
                up from the

                book seeing the
                cream facades
                and contrasting

                greys of the new-
                build estate for
                the first time

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: every step I take
grey wormhole: Bexhill 140215
open wormhole: open window
rain wormhole: … vague / thunder
reading wormhole: ‘God, who am I …?’
realisation wormhole: amid
thought & windows wormhole: Plumstead – Woolwich – Plumstead 220211
time wormhole: and // do your ears burn red?

 

every step I take

Tags

2013, 6*, awareness, climbing, dawn, doors, grey, hope, life, living, nausea, ochre, rock, seeing, step, walking, walls

                there is a wall before me
                gets higher as I walk towards it
                so wide that I cannot turn my head
                footings deep of the rock on which I stand

                I thought there was a door once
                but I can never see where I want to
                I thought to climb it for there was a dawn which crept along its
                battlements but it is featureless it silently radiates grey with ochre stains of nausea

                hopeless
                but that I have come such a long way
                I shall just have to walk through it without
                knowing where to go sure only of every step I take

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light
dawn wormhole: the silent night of the Batman
doors & walls wormhole: such such potential
grey wormhole: ‘avenue of wraggled gorse tops …’
life wormhole: divergent // direction
living wormhole: do I
ochre wormhole: “I / am Spartacus”
seeing wormhole: the goldilocks stance
walking wormhole: step

 

lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening / skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling / the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo / for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light

Tags

2013, 7*, apple tree, awareness, being, blue, breeze, Castleton, death, doing, eggs, evening, feeling, feet, flying, glass, holiday, kitchen, leaves, life, light, living, mindfulness, placement, table, warp, weft

                lesson from watching two crane flies work the evening
                skating across the panes flying and pushing legs grappling
                the glass crossing repulsive over themselves and clinging akimbo
                for a rest until lifeless just to get their stickly bodies through to the light

                                it is so sweet and simple
                                what I have to do: the keep
                                of mind on what I do the
                                turning of the lens until
                                what I am and what I do
                                are so clear and resplendent
                                that I can see each thread
                                of the warp and weft of the
                                blue gingham cloth hanging
                                over the edge of the wicker
                                basket holding speckless-
                                shaped eggs four to welcome
                                us to the holiday cottage

                back to Castleton two years on, cool feet on the fresh-laid flooring
                fresh breeze through the leaves of the apple tree
                but the drop-leaf table in the kitchen
                is mine all mine

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: redundant
being wormhole: too much in arrival
blue wormhole: ssreet chak-chak
breeze wormhole: in the / Citadel / Park / a leaf / new / ly fell
Castleton wormhole: on the raised patio reading Plath
death & life wormhole: stone
doing wormhole: prelude: // travel
evening wormhole: south horizon
feet wormhole: six paramitas
glass wormhole: Salisbury Cathedral // suspended in everything
holiday wormhole: holiday
kitchen wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – snow
leaves wormhole: monument to vainglory
living wormhole: wasted –
table wormhole: retirement

 

redundant

Tags

2013, 6*, achievement, answers, awareness, being, letting go, questioning, quote, thinking, writing

                                              the penultimate
                page of this notebook, do I fill it up
                                in order to let there be

                                              no waste
                or do I leave it bare because that’s where
                                I finished anyway

                                              to almost-
                full or fallen-short, achieved or not
                                achieved, that

                                              is the question,
                whether thinking makes it so or not
                                is the answer,

                                              but that
                awareness accompanies all            and
                                the writing

                                              of it
                makes either – to be or not to be –
                                redundant

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: passing below
being wormhole: where it has taken birth / may it not decrease …
letting go wormhole: reading // unstirred
thinking wormhole: was there a moon / on the alleyway wall / confused in front of / the city skyline?
writing wormhole: handsome

 

passing below

Tags

2014, 5*, awareness, being, blue, cafe, gaze, life, notice, passing, realisation, sky, Storrington, streetlight, talking to myself, thought, traffic, windows, writing

                what do I want in life
                what shall I write

                but I gaze out the window
                across the streetlights hanging

                in the blue blue sky and
                realise I cannot keep the thought

                I already have in mind and
                need to take notice of the traffic

                passing below

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness & writing wormhole: con / sum / mate
being & thought wormhole: within
blue & sky & talking to myself wormhole: love and precision
life wormhole: not / the Catcher
passing wormhole: balance
realisation wormhole: traffic lights and broad avenue
streetlight wormhole: sleep now
windows wormhole: this aching // and spacious dichotomy

 

con / sum / mate

Tags

2014, 7*, awareness, being, defensive, funny, identity, line, openness, page, palimpsest, presumption, seeing, skin, space, sparrows, vulnerable, white, writing

                onto the white space
                between the lines

                who is writing
                why is writing

                not loose because defensive
                not inspired because presumed

                (palimpsest from the previous page
                 provides grip from prequel (funny –

                 a sparrow tries to land on the bonnet
                 but cannot grip to stop flapping)) but

                there needs to be a cut-through
                down there, between the lines,

                to find the sense of writing about
                something

                other than just filling space,
                a plain seeing pared

                from between skin and pith
                vulnerable and recognised

                in all its citric fragrance
                that opens eye wide

                to test the membrane
                to taste the flesh run

                                con
                                sum
                                mate

 

how to ‘hold your seat’ (Pema Chodron) when driving a pen

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

awareness wormhole: returning home handsome
being & writing wormhole: … swap round
identity wormhole: this aching // and spacious dichotomy
openness wormhole: magnificent salad
seeing wormhole: travel
space wormhole: Clea
sparrows wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J Redford – Snow
white wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – snow

 

returning home handsome

Tags

2016, 6*, airport, attention, awareness, being, black, city, damson, daughter, feet, laughing, listening, Malaga, mother, muse, portrait, red, self-containment, shoes, table, talking, waiting, writing

                returning home handsome

                and you are city-smart
                pony tail, black jacket
                perfect haemoglobin nails
                not too long, waiting

                with your mother in her
                damson beret at the airport
                attentive at the table
                listening to her with sheer

                ankle socks – well, they’re
                practical! – such strong feet
                stood up out of comfortable
                slipper-shoes – heel arch

                ball knuckle toe pointed
                or fabulously wrinkled with
                every parenthesis – that they
                do not realise I am writing

                this poem, and don’t need to,
                with concluding laugh

 

 

 

^{————w}(O)rmholes_________________________________|—–

attention & writing wormhole: time
awareness wormhole: and smile / like a bud
being & city & muse wormhole: “The Lady from Nowhere”
black wormhole: the 19th century
daughter wormhole: finding my own true nature – Plumstead, Woolwich, 190915
feet wormhole: reaching branch
listening wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – … as the new town marches in
mother wormhole: hello, luvvey, do you want a cup of tea?
red & table wormhole: magnificent salad
talking wormhole: The Boats of Vallisneria by Michael J Redford – Safe Home
waiting wormhole: Lapping Reflections [Deep Within Waters] – introdepthion