Tags
1970s, 1998, 2014, 6*, blood, cancer, childhood, death, family, giving, hospital, laugh, letter, letting go, life, living, Mum, reality, Ryokan, speech, teaching
Dear Mum,
finally
I sit down to write –
too much draining into reserve too much exhaustion of voice controlling 30 pupils in a class; this job of constant give and demand leaves me slumped and inert, little use to anyone …
… your illness, the hospital
the cancer in your blood
the ongoing-term shock
watching you audit your life
watching you simplify a life
already simple, coming back
to terms with it again and again
now you are back in hospital
because of a cold –
this is not something to be sorted with a little rest and a Lemsip –
it won’t ‘be over’ at all will it but rather
fought through better and worse
(all the struggles of the last year
not in vain but in reality)
(in the 70s we saved up for the smallest things; things went wrong – we even got burgled! – (I saw you, you kept our worry to yourself) but then you ‘tut’d up a ‘this won’t do’: a good laugh all together in our house at what we had left –
Ryokan’s moon* –
eventually)
love,
Mark
*Daigu Ryokan (1758-1831): ah, the thief / left it behind – the moon / at the window
————w(O)rmholes________________________________|—–
part of the ongoing life and page of … Mum
childhood & death & living wormhole: letters to Mum I – a walk / and talk
death & Mum wormhole: letters to mum II – family // like a grate
giving wormhole: poessay VIII: / educational behaviourism
letting go wormhole: the precision // the gentleness // and / the letting go
life wormhole: our life
reality wormhole: poessay VII: // true revolution
speech wormhole: g’morning
teaching wormhole: the Telescope
j.h. white said:
I’d have a cup of tea except it’s evening and I wouldn’t sleep so I just went ahead and did the dinner dishes … and now I’m back… still with this graceful tribute, Mark, to say how beautiful the evening is…
Thank you….Jana
LikeLike
m lewis redford said:
I really enjoyed your evening – I could see the light fading, but not enough to turn the kitchen light on, so you did the dishes in twilight and by the time you finished the dishes, the sky and the kitchen window were all of the same nature – I would think, somehow, that my Mum enjoyed that evening too; thank you for the moment
LikeLike
m lewis redford said:
our exchange lingered: I hope you don’t mind, Jana, but I have woven our words together (like evening light) to form a postscript –
good going into
that gentle night
I’d have a cup of tea
except it’s evening
and I wouldn’t sleep
so I just went ahead
and did the dishes
the light was fading
so I cleaned them
there in the twilight
and by the time
they were done,
the dishes the sky
the kitchen window
and the woman in
the hospital bed 16
years ago were all
of the same nature
… and now I’m back …
to say how beautiful
the evening is …
LikeLike
j.h. white said:
Lovely, simply lovely Mark…
LikeLike